One Woman's
Story of Healing
Learning When to Say When
By Rachel Kieffer
26 | ElementsForAHealthierLife.com | November 2016
In the 35 years that I have been working as a health coach I have met some incredible women. I am happy to share their stories with you. May they inspire you and help you realize that healing is possible, that you have all the resources you need inside you and that every step forward you take is significant. All the stories are true but names and some details were changed to protect the privacy of my clients.
Flora is a typical busy wife and mother that struggles to make time for herself. What is unique about her situation is that she is retired, her children are grown, married and have children of their own. Often, this is a time in life when women can make time for themselves. But Flora had everything but time for herself. She has a demanding and hard to please husband, she still cooks for her children and even does their laundry! Additionally, although Flora is retired, she volunteers extensively in her community. When Flora signed up as a private client she was exhausted, frustrated, had severe digestive issues, was constantly gaining weight and needed a radical intervention.
Flora’s situation with her children was particularly difficult to change. She saw herself as a “good mother” and saying no to her children’s demanding needs was something she could not entertain without feeling like a “bad mom”. Her children were so accustomed to her sacrificing ways that any attempt by her for self-care was met with rebellion and opposition. One particular incident brought her to tears and became an aha moment that started shifting her perspective. I recommended that she get a massage as a way to treat her body with love and to improve her digestive, nervous and immune systems. Flora scheduled one and as she was about to leave her house for her appointment her daughter arrived to drop off her baby and asked Flora to babysit. Flora declined letting her daughter know that she was late for a massage appointment. Her daughter was outraged and asked her to cancel the appointment. Flora refused. It was the first time she dared to say no to her daughter and to put her needs first. Her daughter said “I can’t believe how selfish you are” and stormed off. Needless to say, Flora could not enjoy her massage and felt guilty through the whole experience. However, when she got home, her daughter called to