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A mafioso ’ s son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus . He first writes , “ Dear baby Jesus , I have been a good boy the whole year , so I want a new ...” He looks at it , then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away . He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again , “ Dear baby Jesus , I have been a good boy for most of the year , so I want a new ...” He again looks at it and throws it away . He then gets an idea . He goes into his mother ’ s room , takes a statue of the Virgin Mary , puts it in the closet and locks the door . He takes another piece of paper and writes , “ Dear baby Jesus , if you ever want to see your mother again ...”
n Why is Christmas just like your job ? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit .
n What do hip-hop artists do on Christmas ? Unwrap .
n What is the best Christmas present in the world ? A broken drum , you just can ’ t beat it !
n What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire ? Frostbite .
n What goes “ Oh , Oh , Oh ”? Santa walking backwards .
n What ’ s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet ? The Christmas alphabet has Noel .
n How do you know Santa is good at karate ?
He has a black belt .
n What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor ? Ribbon Hood .
A boy and his mum waited in line at the shopping centre to see Santa . When the boy finally got on Santa ’ s lap , he had a long list of stuff he wanted . “ Santa , I want a new bike , a Star Wars video game , a baseball glove , ice skates , a remote control drone , a new red sled , and a skateboard .” Santa raised his eyebrows and said , “ That ’ s a very long list you have there , young man . I ’ ll have to check my records and see if you ’ ve been a good boy .” The boy replied , “ Oh no . No need to bother with that . I ’ ll just take the skateboard .”
n What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat ? Snowflakes .
n What would a reindeer do if it lost its tail ? They would go to a “ re-tail ” shop for a new one !
n What is a parent ’ s favourite Christmas carol ? Silent Night .
TRIVIA TIME …
1 . What ’ s the highestgrossing movie about Christmas released since 1980 ?
2 . What food is traditional to eat for Christmas lunch in Japan ?
3 . How long did it take Charles Dickens to write A Christmas Carol ?
4 . How long are Christmas trees grown before they ’ re sold ?
DID YOU KNOW …?
→ The tallest ever Christmas tree measured 221ft ( 67.36m ), and was on display in Seattle , Washington .
→ Rudolph the Red Nosed
Reindeer started as an advertising gimmick for US department store chain Montgomery Ward in 1839 .
→ The X in xmas is not an abbreviation – it stands for Chi , meaning Christ in Greek .
→ White Christmas by Bing Crosby is the highest selling single ever !
→ According to a Facebook survey in 2010 , two weeks before Christmas is the most popular time for couples to break up .
1 . How The Grinch Stole Christmas ( 2000 ). 2 . KFC . 3 . Six weeks . 4 . Around 15 years
48 GEMCELL . COM . AU DEC – JAN 2022