I f you ’ ve ever noticed the stream of thoughts that run through your head automatically , then you ’ re aware of your inner voice . Also called self-talk , this is the way you talk to and feel about yourself – and it can have a big impact on how you feel and the way you act . People who talk negatively to themselves are at increased risk of depression and anxiety , as well as reduced self-esteem , ability to manage stress , and general wellbeing , according to research .
What ’ s the difference between positive and negative self-talk ?
Positive self-talk makes you feel good about yourself , the things you do , and the decisions you make . Think of it as having an optimistic voice in your head that ’ s cheering you on . If your self-talk is positive , it might include telling yourself things such as ' This job is hard but I ’ m doing the best I can right now ' or ' I ’ m not feeling great about this situation , but things could be worse '. People who speak positively to themselves have an overall increased sense of
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wellbeing and are able to manage stressful situations confidently .
Negative self-talk can make you feel low about yourself and what ’ s going on in your life – even if good things are happening . Negative self-talk includes thoughts such as ' I should be doing better ' or ' Everyone must think I messed that job up '. Some people who practise negative self-talk are also prone to filtering . This means only focusing on the negative aspects of a situation and filtering out the positive ones – which gives you a lopsided view of the truth . It can also be common to ‘ personalise ’ when you ’ re in the midst of negative self-talk . This means automatically blaming yourself for something that went wrong , even when there are other factors at play . Getting stuck in negative self-talk habits like this can seriously undermine your confidence and impact on your ability to get things done .
HOW TO STOP NEGATIVE SELF-TALK Follow these four steps to break the habit of negative self-talk : Be aware of what you ’ re
1 saying to yourself . Can you recognise it as negative ? Is there evidence for what2 you ’ re thinking ? Often when you really think |
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about it , it ’ s not true . Put your thoughts into perspective . Does what you ' re worrying about really matter ? Consider if there is a more helpful way of thinking about the situation . Can you put a positive twist on it ?
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PRACTISE THE ART OF POSITIVITY It can take time , but you can learn to be a positive thinker . Here ’ s what to do :
CONCENTRATE ON JUST ONE THING Make a list of the areas in your life you tend to think negatively about . It might be work , a relationship , or some of your personal characteristics . Focus on changing your thoughts around a specific area so it ’ s not overwhelming .
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HANG OUT WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE Surround yourself with positive people . Seeing how others react to situations can rub off on you and help you manage stress levels .
EXERCISE AND EAT WELL A healthy lifestyle can help you manage stress and boost your mood , encouraging you to think more positively .
BE KIND Don ’ t say anything to yourself that you wouldn ’ t say to a friend .
CHALLENGE YOURSELF TO THINK DIFFERENTLY When negative self-talk pops into your head , try to twist it so it becomes positive . Turn ' I ’ ve never done it before ' into ' This is exciting to learn something new ' and see how it makes you feel . n
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