Electrical Gems #150 | Page 48

ROUND-UP DOWN TOOLS JOKES WHY THE LONG FACE? n I went to the bookshop and asked if they had anything about turtles. “Hardback?” the sales assistant asked. “Yes, with little heads.” ete strode into the local stables, wanting to buy a horse. “I’ve got just the horse you’re looking for,” says Chris, the stable owner. “The only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. “He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. “You can get him to stop by shouting “hey-hey”, and the way to get him to go is to shout “Thank God.” Pete nodded his head, “Fine by me; I can remember that. Can I take him for a test run?” Chris agreed, and with a ‘“Thank God!” off he set. Pete was having a great ride, and thoroughly enjoying himself. The horse was everything he had been looking for. Galloping down a dirt track, he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead. The horse seemed utterly oblivious to the impending danger. “Stop!” screamed Pete, but the horse kept on going. No matter how much he tried, he could not remember the words to get the hose to stop. “Yo-yo,” he screamed, but the horse just kept on galloping ahead. A mere 10 metres from the edge of the cliff, Pete suddenly remembered the words to get the horse to stop. “Hey-hey!” he exclaimed, and the horse skidded to a halt, a metre from the edge of the cliff. Pete could not believe his good fortune. He looked up to the sky, raised his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief. “Thank God,” he said. P n My wife thinks I don’t give her enough privacy. At least, that’s what she wrote in her diary. n What do you call an alligator who uses GPS? A navigator n Someone stole my limbo stick. I mean, how low can you get? n Scientists have recently discovered a fossilised dinosaur fart. Now there’s a blast from the past. n Someone told me I was average. Now that’s just mean. n I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. n A bloke was hinting that he wanted something shiny that goes from 0-150 in 3 seconds for his birthday. His wife bought him a set of bathroom scales. n What’s yellow and smells like white paint? Yellow paint. FACTS TO AMAZE YOUR MATES n Did you know… America’s ‘National Hero Dog’ award was won in 2015 by a cat n A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband, but yearns for a picture of Ahmal. Her husband says, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.” 48 GEMCELL.COM.AU APR – MAY 2019 n Did you know… Meerkats have competitive eating contests to establish dominance n Did you know… Messages travel through the brain faster than an F1 racing car n Did you know… The Belgian city of Bruges has an underground beer pipeline n Did you know… It is illegal in Japan to make a human pyramid of more than five tiers high Kyoritsu 6205 Kyoritsu 6205 Portable Appliance Tester Kyoritsu 6205 Portable Appliance Tester Portable Appliance Tester Eaton has launched the new Kyoritsu 6205 Portable Appliance Tester, a battery powered device that simplifies the testing process. tests are the performed by simple button operation, with a results stored on the inboard required, Eaton has All launched new Kyoritsu 6205 one Portable Appliance Tester, battery powered device that memory. simplifies If the testing the transfer of test data to a PC is accomplished via optional software. 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