times in my home, that the timer goes off
after the set time of 3 minutes, but your
child has not yet regained control and is
still screaming or crying uncontrollably.
In this instance, I would inform my child
that he has another 3 minutes (or 6 or 8,
depending on the age) to use, and reset
the timer. Eventually your child will be
able to calm himself and be released from
Time-Out when his time is up.
But this still isn’t the end of the
discipline. Now is the time, when both
you and your child are calm and in
control, to understand the reason that
Time-Out was given, and to then obey
the parent.
Incentive methods.
This is a technique where you can
really be creative with what you do.
The best known incentive method is an
Incentive Chart with 21 steps to a big
reward. Some charts also include minirewards after 7 and 14 steps. You can
really be very original with this - draw a
pirate ship with a sailor having to climb
to the top of the mast to get the flag
(reward), or a fairy that has to walk on
stepping-stones to reach her castle with
her prince. I’ve even seen Jack who
climbs up the beanstalk to reach the
world above the clouds, or Miss Kitty who
has to follow arrows/steps to get to her
bowl of milk. Incentive charts have to
consist of a movable piece, or stickers/
stars that can be placed on different
steps, and an end destination/reward.
Something important to remember when
using incentive charts like these, is that
it requires active involvement from the
parents, and it is best if you only work
on one specific behavior that you want to
improve, instead of trying to influence a
set of behaviors at once.
For example, Incentive Charts work
extremely well with something along
the lines of managing to get your
child to clean his room every day; or
remembering to brush his/her teeth
twice a day; or set the table daily for
dinner; or sleeping in his/her own bed for
consecutive nights; or proper manners to
display when you have guests.
Another creative way to use incentives
is by making two jars; one with a big
smiley-face on it and the other with
an unhappy face. Fill both jars halfway
with marbles or water-babies (the round
watery balls you can get at a nursery).
You then tell your child what behavior you
are going to measure, and for the right
behavior you place a few (two or three)
marbles/balls from the unhappy jar over
to the happy jar. For the wrong behavior
you do the opposite, in other words take
marbles/balls out of the happy jar and
place them in the unhappy jar. If the