Repetition and practice.
This discipline technique takes a lot of
effort, patience and time, and thus an
abundance of active involvement from
the parents. Usually you start with this
technique around the time your child
is 18 months or older, and it might
be necessary to make use of this
even when he/she is a teenager. The
technique consists of you modelling
and teaching the required behaviour
in a certain situation to your child
(with patience), and then giving your
child the opportunity to practice what
they’ve just learned. You usually have
to repeat the instructions a few times,
and give more than one opportunity
for practice. The opportunities can also
be unpredictable, but the outcome
should be consistently monitored.
Usually this technique does not involve
punishment, but rather incentives for
the correct behavior.
The following example might help
to clarify what I’m saying. Let’s say
you would like your child to help with
setting the table before dinner. I don’t
know of any child who instinctively
knows how to properly set a table,
and thus would need training in this
regard. Which side is left and which
is right for the fork and knife. You will
have to teach them where to put the
plates, and what needs to be placed
on the table, like salt and pepper.
After careful instruction with your
child watching and doing, you should
give him/her opportunities to practice
this without you taking over. You may
instruct from the side (“remember
the knife goes on the right side”), but
you should try to avoid interfering
physically to allow your child to learn
by trial and error. When the whole
family sits down for dinner, it is then
a good incentive to praise and thank
your child for setting the table. Initially
you will need to remind him/her about
this duty every day, but later you can
enforce this even further by giving a
reward if your child remembers to set
the table, without your reminder every
day for 5 consecutive days. Later the
reward is given after 10 consecutive
days, then 20 days; until your child
sets the table every day as part of
their household duties. The end result
is your daily and sincere appreciation
for your child taking part in household
chores.