The psychology behind puberty
Most parents neglect to inform their sons that they will feel strange or
become over emotional or aggressive when they reach puberty. There
are reasons for these emotional changes just as for the physical changes.
Explain to your son that when he feels overly emotional or sad that it is
okay to be alone in his room and to gather himself, but caution against
long hours spent listening to music and living a hermit’s life behind a
closed bedroom door. When your son is feeling overly aggressive in any
given situation, encourage him to be the better person to rather walk
away; to be able to calm down and to gain perspective over the situation
before a complicated and unwanted fiasco is staring him in the face. Other
emotional queues to look for in your son include feelings of sensitivity,
uncomfortable feelings about his physical appearance including shyness,
mixing with strange crowds in order to establish his own identity, mixed
emotions and conflict especially with reference to peer pressure.
The big M
Masturbation is a sensitive topic that is rarely discussed or even mentioned
in most households. But the interesting fact is that all males in the household
participate in this activity in the comfort of their private space. Masturbation is
part of the male human system just like blood and hormones. Studies on male
foetuses have reported that these foetuses do grab their penises from time to
time in the womb. Boys start early, don’t they? The key here is to be sensitive
to the topic. Toddlers usually display “touching” as part of exploration during
the phallic stage of psychosexual development according to the Freudian take
on development. When your hormone-loaded son seems to be more private or
spending time in his room – not when he is upset – give him some time and
space to explore his body and to comfort himself in the process. It will give your
son more peace at heart to hear from his father that masturbation is a normal
activity for a boy as long as it takes place privately. Young boys do experience
some form of anxiety or guilt when they masturbate because they are scared
that they will be “caught” or that their parents will walk in on them. Allow your
son his personal space and time and respect it too. Remember to knock before
entering a young man’s room in the future!