Healthy anger thus has a specific
recipe made up of 5 ingredients.
The purpose
This would be the reason behind your
anger. Why are you angry? Maybe
the other ingredients are right – the
person, degree and timing – but you
don’t really have a reason to be angry.
You might feel outraged because you
think you have been treated unfairly,
but after you have acquired more
information and a better understanding
of the situation, you realise that the
accusation was justified.
1. 4.
5.
2.
3.
t
on
fficien
t pers
e righ y by the ine ot
Th
n
r
would o
de ang
re ma nk today, it
we
ild wh e
If you at the ba
our ch
h
ll at y
k on t
teller
y to ye her cooldrin
lth
as
son w
be hea ly spilled
ng per and your
ntal
he wro
,
accide
floor. T cipe mixture ficial to
chen
e
re
kit
be ben
o the
wn int ger will not lth.
thro
ng an body’s hea
resulti
any
Degree
If we follow the analogy of a recipe,
the degree of your ingredient will be
the measurement you use. If you
have a delicious chocolate cake recipe,
but you use ½ cup of salt instead of
a ½ teaspoon, the cake will flop. In
the same way your anger will not be
healthy if you use the wrong measure,
and you react to a 50% trigger with
150% anger.
Timing
Choosing the
right time to
vent your
anger is extr
emely import
ant and
paramount to
the health of
anger.
This may me
an that you n
eed to
decide active
ly to show yo
ur anger at
a more appro
priate time, a
nd rather
count to ten
in order not to
react
inappropriate
ly.
24 •
• February/March 2014
Method
Are you one
of those peop
le who
completely lo
se themselve
s when
they become
angry, and bre
ak
things or peo
ple? This is n
ot a
good ingredie
nt for healthy
anger.
The method
should be calm
calculating, e
and
xpressed thro
ugh clear
and concise co
mmunication
where
all parties inv
olved can fee
l safe and
loved.
Therefore, the next time you get
angry, take care to throw the right
person into the mixture, add just
the right degree and set the time
perfectly. Stir the right reason for
your anger and the perfect method
into your mix, and you will have a
really healthy dish!
Dalene Gous
Dalene Gous is a Clinical Psychologist
and Evergreen Parenting Facilitator.
She is married to Willem and they
have three sons – Fanie, Daniel and
Johannes.
Please visit us on Facebook at
Praktiese Ouerskap.