Whenever someone is offered an
empowering choice, they experience a
certain degree of independence. If you
are offered a choice, you are given
the opportunity to make a decision
that directly impacts you and your life.
No matter how small the choice is, it
is still a liberating feeling opposed to
being restricted to do the thing that
you have to do.
In making a choice, a child asserts
their own will on the situation. THEY
choose the one way opposed to the
other. Therefore they spend more
time and energy on deciding what
they want, opposed to fighting with
you about it. I want to say that again
because this is where the magic lies....
they spend more time and energy on
deciding WHAT to choose instead of
fighting you about the boundary in the
first place.
By setting the boundary of ‘packing
away’ the child gets that this is what
you need to get done. By giving
choices within the boundary, your
child feels a degree of independence
because you are not just telling them
what to do, but giving them a sense
of empowerment in choosing where
to start. Nearly all children therefore
spend time choosing, opposed
to trying to negotiate the actual
boundary.
But let’s say your child is really
strong willed and doesn’t like the two
choices you have given them... what
then?
Answer: Get your child to come up
with their OWN choice that still falls
WITHIN the boundary you set.
“Honey, time to pack away the
toys. Would you like to start over here,
or is there any other area you would
prefer to start that would work best
for you?”
The same skill can be used with
children of any age:
Melissa (age 14 years): “Homework
needs to be finished before dinner
tonight please. Would you prefer to do
it in your own room, or anywhere else
in the house that might work best for
you?
Over the last 15 years I have
worked with copious amounts of
parents and teachers from around the
world, giving them solutions to their
everyday parenting challenges. It
doesn’t have to be threats, fights and
punishment.
When you learn that skills which
invite cooperation can save you more
than 80 minutes per day, it will allow
you to get things done while keeping
the smiles on your kids faces.
(Robin Booth is an international
parenting expert, a school principal
and an online workshop instructor)
Learn more skills now by taking
advantage of the discounted offer
for Robin’s online course: Save 80
minutes a day by getting your children
to listen and cooperate with you.
1) How to get your children to
cooperate with you
2) How to set quick boundaries that
work
3) How to get your children to
persevere and not give up
How to get your children to cooperate,
even when they don’t want to.
“Avoid the shouting, threats, and bribes
with these Emotionally Intelligent skills
and boundaries - (toddler to teen).”
To make use of the EduNEws special visit:
http://www.robinbooth.co.za/general/
current-specials-for-you