industry & reform
Greater expectations
Addressing difficult parental behaviour .
By Rochelle Borton
Educators go to university for four years , complete countless hours of study and spend many days in classrooms completing several practicums to get them ‘ classroom ready ’. However , they aren ’ t taught how to deal with difficult parents , responding to the angry middleof-the-night parent emails or the impact of a social media post that questions their teaching ability .
Parents ’ over involvement is having a significant impact on teachers ’ and school leaders ’ job satisfaction . Additionally , recent studies show not only the negative impacts on student outcomes , but an increase in stress and anxiety for parents .
There is a minority of parents , in a minority of schools , who use aggressive and violent tendencies to have themselves heard . In the most extreme cases , teachers , educators and school leaders are protected by laws and legislation . However , unfortunately , there can be a grey and ever-growing space where no criminal offence has been committed , but school leaders and teachers are still feeling intimidated , bullied , harassed and / or threatened .
Principals are often left wondering how to best support themselves and their teams , acknowledging the employer ’ s responsibility to reasonably eliminate and remove any physical and psychological risk and to create a safe and productive workplace . That being said , each school , leader , system and jurisdiction display differences in the way they believe minor , moderate , major and severe behaviours should be handled , or even how they should be categorised .
In turn , this is often reflected in the way in which parents and community beliefs and interactions differ , with many and varied interpretations of what is acceptable and unacceptable when it comes to conduct for parents and students alike .
People ’ s ability to productively address areas of concerns or conflict can be limited when time is not taken to increase awareness of the disparities . Despite it not being the role of a school leader or teachers to educate parents on best conflict resolution methods and effective communication , modelling this can be helpful .
Research supports that building relationships between parents and teachers could be better if both parties :
• Share information as often as possible .
• Provide opportunities for engagement ( in and out of school ).
• Deal with any issues promptly .
• Admit to any mistakes .
• Create avenues for ongoing feedback .
For the above to work well , parents , students and educators need to have an agreed set of accepted norms , rules and policies that everyone understands and follows . There are elements that can be interpreted at the discretion of an individual , and when these elements differ , it can be very difficult to maintain and build trust .
Examples should also be continually provided to ensure people understand what will and will not be tolerated as part of the school community . Furthermore , parents need help to understand that if they want to work alongside teachers to positively impact their child ’ s learning , then they have to also become comfortable in quickly acknowledging their own mistakes or areas of accountability , any failures and areas of need , help or guidance required .
Conflict profiling and norming becomes an important element for school leaders and teachers to understand as they work through any challenging conflicts .
The high prevalence and desensitisation of poor human behaviour in our society means that what now constitutes aggression has been distorted . For some , this means that a parent screaming abuse and swearing over the phone or in person , or a parent spreading false information online , is considered low level and minor .
Understanding a person ’ s conflict profile or norms can assist in reflecting on the best ways to engage and support a shift to more productive conflict ; it can also support the building of trust between teacher and parent .
Reflecting on the following elements supports a focus on understanding what is seen as normal , and prompts an individual to become more aware of their impact on others :
• Personality characteristics or strengths affecting perception .
• Conflict environment in the home .
• Geographic area and cultural background .
• Professional and personal experiences .
It would be ideal if school leaders and teachers were left to concentrate on teaching and learning , but unfortunately sometimes they need to deal with the widening gap between acceptable and unacceptable behaviours and unreasonable expectations from students and their parents .
Perhaps if we can create environments where we are open to feedback , listening and developing shared understanding where everyone focuses on what is good for all , we could flourish . ■
Rochelle Borton is the founder and managing director of Eduinfluencers .
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