3 Keys to Creating a Life You Love
2020 is here and in full swing. I’m sure you’ve made some declarations to make this year flow a bit smoother than years past. “I’m going to the gym.” “I’m going to travel more.” “I’m starting a new career.” “I’m not going to let my family get on my nerves.” Whether the thoughts just crossed your mind or you went all the way in and created a full-blown vision board, I’m sure your affirmations are ones that you believe will lead to more joy and ease in 2020.
And I’m here for all of that! I’m here for all of us living a life we love this year. However, when talking with clients, friends, and family I’ve realized that creating a life you love is not always as easy as it sounds. So, I’ve written out three keys below that you can use to get you closer to reaching your “Happy Place” in 2020 and forevermore.
1. Own Your Own Story
Everyone loves a good story. Look no further than to the success of best-selling books and box office hits on the big screen. The awesome thing about life is that each of us has our own unique story. However, many people would rather live their lives trying to mimic the lives of others rather than sharing their own biographies. And it’s nothing new or unnatural. In fact, according to Medium.com, a common human behavior known as “mirroring” has been studied by psychologists for many years. It is defined as the behavior in which one person unconsciously imitates a gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. It often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family. For example, when you yawn and someone else yawns or when you walk into a room of sad or moody people and you become sad and moody too. However, mirroring doesn’t end there. It also seems to have an influence on what we deem as the our socially acceptable norms.
Living in the age of social media perfectionism, mirroring is a behavior that if we’re not careful can be detrimental. Many people spend their days doing everything in their power to embrace the lifestyles of other people rather than enjoying their own flawed, but perfectly crafted stories. From well-designed Instagram and Facebook timelines to the lives of the rich and famous, ie. the Kardashians, we have quickly become a society of people trying less and less to be different. And going all out to make our one-of-a-kind realities imitate fiction. And, I get it. Many of us live normal lives filled with mundane tasks such as going to the grocery store or picking up our dry cleaning. And some of us are semi-hoarders with 35 cats. And while it may not have the drama and fascination of the latest episode of Real Housewives of Wherever, it’s unique because it’s all you.
The issue with trying to mimic what we see is that it leads to the exhaustion and stress that comes from trying to measure up to the impossible task of being someone else. This year I challenge you to own your own story no matter how bat shit crazy it may be. Don’t fall prey to a melt-down or back down to any bashing, shaming, or bullying tactics that people use to let the world know they actually envy you. Stand proud and live your story. It deserves to be told just as much as any other and you shouldn’t shy away from it just because it doesn’t resemble someone else’s. There’s freedom in living your truth.
2. Make Good Mental Health Your Self-Indulgence
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By Tam Finley
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