Drum Magazine Issue 4 | Page 22

20 Drum: ENTERPRISE maybe you don’t — but don’t you? There are only so many things you don’t mind getting up at 5 am to do. There are only so many talents that come to you as easily as breath. Understand this. There is something so challenging/exhilarating/promising about the possibility of experiencing/enjoying/ employing your talents for all they’re worth. Even if it turns out that, your writing is not worth $100,000 year; even if it turns out that, your cooking is not worth $100 — perhaps it’ll turn out that your own sense of fulfillment is worth so much more. Or perhaps I’m being idealistic? I offer no concrete alternatives to the professions I’ve critiqued, not least because I struggle each day to find them. It is Rainer M. Rilke can tell you far more than me about living a life in the name of your forte. I’ve conjoined a few of his passages, replacing with brackets ([ ]) the words write and writer. Put in those brackets whatever it is you believe/fear to admit you are called to do. If it is acting, insert ‘act’; if it is ‘working with children,’ add that. Then take these words (amended for you) and confront that weighty question: ‘What do you want to do after you graduate?’ You may find, as Adlai Stevenson said, that you stand on the verge of great decisions—not easy ones. “Your fulfillment has less to do with your career choice than with the (true) motive behind it. If you don’t know where you’re going, let your passions point the way.” a woman — young, poor, passionate — who pens these pearly things to you; who claims your fulfillment has less to do with your career choice than with the (true) motive behind it. If you don’t know where you’re going, let your passions point the way. If you cannot answer,‘What are you doing next year?’ perhaps you might start with ‘What makes me happy?’ Your apprehensions may become immaterial in the face of the fulfillment this answer can bring. Rilke writes: I know no advice for you save this: to go into yourself and test the deeps in which your life takes rise; at its source, you will find the answer to the question whether you must [ ]. Accept it, just as it sounds, without inquiring into it. Perhaps it will turn out that you are called to be a [ ]. Then take that destiny upon yourself and bear it, its burden and its greatness, without ever asking what recompense might come from the outside . Last week I ended my marriage of convenience with Corporate Glory to pursue a long-term love affair with Art. A friend, apprised of the divorce, left Letters to a Young Poet outside my door. He inscribed the inside cover with this: “I know you have elected to create, as most do not, and for such I know no truer lines.” Leaving off questions of age and entitlement (what, in the end, has one twentysomething-year-old to say to another?) I want to compel you young and drifting to pursue as professions your personal passions. Nobody can counsel you, nobody. There is only one single way . . . Search for the reason that bids you [ ]. This above all: ask yourself in the stillest hour of your night: must I [ ]? Delve into yourself for a deep answer. And if the answer should be affirmative, if you may meet this earnest question with a strong and simple, “I must,” then build your life according to this necessity.