Reviews
WHY MUMMY DRINKS – The diary of an exhausted mum
I spent much of this book wondering if the answer to the title is‘ because she is an alcoholic’.
Has Ellen, 39-year-old mum of two, lost the ability to control her drinking? Mummy is at the stage when, increas- ingly, everything she has to do is better with alcohol – afterwards, and then, during:‘ stashing a large bottle of Pimm’ s in my bag … made the intermin able hell of sport’ s day pass much faster’.
Mummy says she drinks because other people are too much. Especially her young children, Peter and Jane. Like when Jane picks a paperclip off a hospital floor, and it later gets stuck between her teeth. So it’ s back to the hospital to have it removed. This leaves mummy‘ beyond the aid of mere wine and having to resort to gin’.
Then there are other people’ s mummies; the‘ Bloody Perfect Coven’ and their obligatory middle-class extracurricular activities:‘ take children to swimming / music / tennis / dance / Jiu Jitsu’.‘ So much to do, there is never enough time to do anything’.‘ It’ s a wonder I don’ t drink more’ listening to‘ Perfect Lucy Atkinson’ s Perfect Mummy’ say things such as‘ you still eat quinoa? You should give Camargue red rice a try’.‘ 3.45pm:‘ wonder how soon I can have wine?’.
These resent ments are among many unhelpful ways in which Ellen thinks. She doesn’ t come across as being sustainably comfortable in herself or nice to be around – except to her friends, Hannah and Sam, when they are drinking. Together they sneer at the dysfunctional relationships of other adults; splitup couples arguing
Ellen thinks she is‘ a terrible parent’ and all aspects of parenting are an ordeal
about money or who sees the kids when. Mummy is prone to doing other people’ s thinking and fuelling her selfdoubt by comparing herself unfavour- ably to everyone else. She sits on the top deck of buses, peering into people’ s homes.‘ What I see through all those windows are the good stories. Do people think the same when they pass my house? A nice house, a woman who has everything she could want, two beautiful children and a husband who loves her?’
In fact Ellen thinks she is‘ a terrible parent’ and all aspects of parenting are an ordeal. An afternoon at a soft play centre is an event for which‘ there is not enough wine in the world to ease the pain’.
Her thinking jumps to conclusions, crystal-ball gazes or strives for perfection. She expects too much from everything – so a firework display, which might be exciting, is just‘ being jostled in a muddy park’.
The alcohol, on almost every page, is a symptom of Mummy’ s sedation of all this over-thinking. What she idealises is control:‘ 7.40 pm: enjoy a civilised gin and tonic with my loving husband as we discuss each other’ s days and make supportive remarks’.
This is never the reality and Ellen’ s conclusion is that she’ s‘ a bored borderline alcoholic trying to pass herself off as a semi-functioning adult’.
So is the sequel going to be‘ Why Mummy Goes To AA’? It’ s much more likely to be‘ Why Mummy Swears’, which she does – a lot.
Review by Mark Reid
WHY MUMMY DRINKS – The diary of an exhausted mum. By Gill Sims ISBN: 9780008237493 HarperCollins £ 14.99
MEDIA SAVVY
The news, and the skews, in the national media
WHEN LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS CALL FOR DRUGS TO BE LEGALISED, we have to listen. So too when doctors speak up. Last month the Royal College of Physicians took the important step of coming out in favour of decriminalisation, joining the BMA, the Faculty of Public Health, and the Royal Society of Public |
Health in supporting drug policy reform … The BMJ is firmly behind efforts to legalise, regulate, and tax the sale of drugs for recreational and medicinal use. This is an issue on which doctors can and should make their voices heard. BMJ editorial, 10 May
LEGALISING DRUGS WOULD HALVE THE NUMBER OF PRISONERS, lead to fewer murders and overdoses, and result in safer inner cities. Only one question remains: when will a politician muster the courage and admit that legalisation would work? Jack Powell, Telegraph, 11 May
WE ' RE HOOKED ON A BIG LIE. How can the stupid concept of‘ addiction’
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survive, if people such as the Relate organisation can seriously suggest that anyone is‘ addicted’ to sex? People pursue pleasures at the expense of others, because they enjoy them. Why do doctors, and the criminal justice system, too, help them to do this? Peter Hitchens, Mail on Sunday, 6 May
NOTHING FIRES UP WE SCOTS QUITE LIKE SOMEONE THREATENING TO LENGTHEN OUR LIFE EXPECTANCY. And now, thanks to legislation that puts a floor on the price of alcohol, many of us have a reason to get upset … Yet there remains an elusive force at play in the public conversation about alcohol. Namely, the fact that so many of us who drink too much are either unaware of it or are in some form of denial. We tend to downplay or underestimate both
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how much we drink and the impact it has on our finances and mental health – which is why facts are useful when creating policies that are designed to tackle the issue. Darren McGarvey, Guardian, 3 May
BY SOME MALIGN ALCHEMY the problem has been reconceived in recent years as harm done not by drugs but by the law. So there’ s been an ever-more explicit push to decriminalise all drugs, coming not just from legalisation charities but from an establishment which is increasingly in their pocket … To double down on calls for policy changes that will increase the number of drug users still farther is not to promote reform. It is a social death wish. Melanie Phillips, Times, 29 May
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