First person
National judo champion Stuart Pascoe thought his sports career was over as his alcohol use spiralled . But with help from Addaction the 46-year-old has gone on to beat competitors half his age , as well as volunteering with the charity to help people experiencing similar problems
ResoundinG victoRy
I STARTED DRINKING EXCESSIVELY AFTER MY DIVORCE . I tried to run away from what was happening and travelled around working , living out of a suitcase . But I should ’ ve stayed and dealt with things . I ’ ve always been a reward drinker , so throwing myself into work and achieving gave me the perfect opportunity to drink every night . But that gradually became drinking in the morning and going home at lunchtime to drink .
All those years ago I didn ’ t realise that places like Addaction existed . I can remember my mum coming with me to my first meeting because I was shaking with nerves . Looking around the room I realised this illness doesn ’ t discriminate – there were people from all walks of life , and of all ages . I never imagined meeting a group of like-minded , supportive people I would go on to call friends .
I went to Addaction Chy , the charity ’ s rehabilitation centre in Truro , but I wasn ’ t ready and got very complacent . I thought I was fixed after five months and that I could jump back into my old life . I told myself I could manage it , that the old me was back and I was where I wanted to be . I was so wrong . It went downhill in months and within
‘ I ’ ve always been a reward drinker , so throwing myself into work and achieving gave me the perfect opportunity to drink every night .’
Stuart at Addaction Chy with manager Ross Dunstan
a year I was out of work . The loneliness started creeping in , I stopped seeing family or doing judo , and I isolated myself with nowhere to go .
At the worst point I was drinking about 1.5 litres of vodka a day and not leaving the room I was staying in . I ’ d send a taxi to the shop to get a bottle and lock myself away all day . I didn ’ t eat when I was drinking , I was so alone , and nobody saw me for about six months .
I was up and down all the time , crying one minute , laughing the next , hallucinating and having vivid dreams . My body was failing and I was being sick all the time . Friends and family can only do so much , and I had pushed them all away so many times .
My wake-up call was a visit from the doctor who told me I would be dead in six to eight weeks and wouldn ’ t see Christmas if I carried on . I knew this was it , but if I was going to change I didn ’ t have time to wait around . So I did a detox in hospital and luckily Addaction Chy was able to get me in quickly .
This time I stayed 12 weeks in the main house and then did three months in the move-on flats , rather than jumping back into the community . I focused on getting things back in my life that were healthy and not worrying about work . Judo had been part of my life for 40 years and I wanted to get back into it . I ’ d won a couple of national championships before , but retired in 2003 . I decided to set myself the goal of winning the British championships and started training that September .
Nine weeks later I won the open-age category , competing against people half my age – the guy on the silver podium said his dad was younger than me . It was the first competitive judo I ’ d done in 14 years and it put me among the oldest champions ever . I ’ d had aspirations to go back into it before , but the alcohol got in the way .
Now I ’ m eligible to train with the national squad and the British masters squad . The rest of the time I train locally at Redruth Judo Club where people have been really supportive , and sometimes at Helston and Plymouth . Next I ’ m planning to compete in the British Judo Council open nationals .
Volunteering with Addaction and judo are my life now . I run some of the charity ’ s mutual aid groups , prep for treatment groups and am a mentor to new clients . I ’ m also volunteering at Chy , running the introductions group for people who are in their first four weeks of rehab .
My life is a dream now . This afternoon I will go and mentor clients before going to work tonight , then my weekend will be filled with catching up with friends and watching some judo . It ’ s been a hard journey , but thanks to Addaction I made it to the other side and now I want to spend my time helping others do the same .
16 | drinkanddrugsnews | May 2018 www . drinkanddrugsnews . com