Letters and Comment
DDN welcomes your letters Please email the editor , claire @ cjwellings . com , or post them to DDN , cJ wellings ltd , romney House , school road , Ashford , Kent tN27 0lt . letters may be edited for space or clarity .
‘ Imagine someone ’ s state of mind who perhaps through hard struggle has abstained from crack and heroin when on a methadone script and then seeks support at NA only to be made to feel unwelcome .’
CAUTIONARY CAVEAT
I was impressed by Alex Boyt ’ s thoughtful and intelligent article regarding 12-step programmes ( DDN , April , page 12 ). I wanted to explore the current wisdom of encouraging people who approach drug services struggling with addiction to attend 12-step meetings .
It may be that my experience is particularly shaped by the culture in Bristol where there are an awful lot of people , predominantly men , who have to attend meetings as a condition of living in a ‘ dry house ’. Anyway , unless you are an attractive woman going to a meeting currently using , if you don ’ t have any friends in the fellowship will get you treated like a leper . Imagine someone ’ s state of mind who perhaps through hard struggle has abstained from crack and heroin when on a methadone script and then seeks support at NA only to be made to feel unwelcome . Workers should bear this in mind before encouraging clients to attend .
Some sort of pre-briefing of the rituals at these meetings ( hand holding and chanting ) would also be wise , as it can seem pretty weird to a newcomer . I ' m including these thoughts as notes of caution as I have friends who have gone on to live drug-free lives after using 12- step support .
Richie , Bristol , by email
WHATEVER WORKS
Brilliant read . I did 12-step abstinence for six years , but never felt I was being true to myself and witnessed so much judgement within fellowships . It ’ s 14 years in July since I took my last methadone or any other class A , following nearly 18 years of chaotic addiction and lifestyle . The six-year abstinence was definitely a good foundation for my recovery but once I realised I had a great support network within my life outside of NA I made a choice to get on with my life . So for eight years now I ’ ve not questioned myself – if I want a drink with friends I have one . I even went to Amsterdam on a girly trip and had a puff on a joint , didn ’ t beat myself up , no one judged me and guess what … I ’ m still living and loving a productive life !
I thank the 12 steps for giving me some great principles to apply within my life but I too disagree with the ‘ powerless forever ’ statement ! If 12 steps forever are what works for you then I ’ m happy for you , but for me it was the bridge to normal living and the biggest factor in my recovery is definitely my support , acceptance , love and laughter from friends and family . Do what works for you but don ’ t beat yourself up if things don ’ t always go to plan , especially if it ’ s someone else ’ s plan !
Tara , via www . drinkanddrugsnews . com
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE
What am amazing well-written paper . You have raised some valuable points , that I for one have just been discussing with a friend . I am a person in long-term recovery , and have been working on myself for many years . I have always believed that those who commit suicide or relapse either cannot maintain the ‘ all or nothing ’ concept or the self-development which I believe is needed to continue in recovery .
I stopped attending the rooms because I changed , as simple as that . I didn ’ t pick up nor do I want to pick up , even after losing a son and more recently the death of my mother . I didn ’ t want to use because I knew that would not be the answer – I do believe that NA is not the answer to everyone ’ s drug problems . I believe we all have a unique guidance system and our soul knows the way . I have worked in drug and alcohol serves and I am now a qualified , integrative therapist in my final month of a BA honours degree . I have wonderful choices now , that I would not change for anyone . Thank you for your article – being my true authentic self has always been my goal .
Anonymous , via www . drinkanddrugsnews . com
RUINOUS READING
Reading this has ruined my day and I was upset it had been even brought anywhere near me . I think you are a clever person who could help a lot of people change – why bother to get bogged down with an unnecessary debate ?
Ellie , via www . drinkanddrugsnews . com
GET SMART
It didn ' t / doesn ’ t work for me personally . Things didn ' t really click for me until I found Smart Recovery . That ' s not to say I didn ' t find a lot of value in some of the 12 steps approach , I just couldn ' t get totally comfortable with it – for many reasons . At the end of the day though , it ’ s whatever works for you . Any positive steps .
Craig Rees , via Facebook
14 | drinkanddrugsnews | May 2018 www . drinkanddrugsnews . com