I have got two sisters that are
older than I am and then me, so
I am the baby of the house. But
my two sisters were in boarding
school, and my older brother was
not able to go to boarding school
because he had sickle cell, so
he had to be home, and so I was
almost like his little partner in
crime, we did literally everything
together. So, losing him was so
significant and I think it hurt so
much because I didn’t have a real
avenue to express my grief. It was
just something I had to deal with
and just accept and grow up with
and it left me very bitter and very
angry on the inside, but it wasn’t
until the last few years when
I became an adult that I’ve
been able to understand
the impact that that
kind of grief had in my
life and the changes in
me that it caused; in
my personality, in my
perception of life, in
things around death, I
was so afraid of death,
I was so afraid of dying
and all those things, it
was rooted in the death
of my brother. The other
thing that you talked about is
my being sexually abused as a
child, now again, for me, that was
something that was so traumatic
that my brain just shut it out, I
forgot, I remembered when I was
28, that was the first time that I
actually remembered that this
had happened as a child. And
when the memory came back,
of course, one of the first things
I did at the time was to seek
some help, go for counselling.
I remember sitting there and
asking my counsellor, how do you
forget a thing like this, how does
your brain just shut it out? And
she said to me, well, Amanda, it
was so traumatic for you that the
memories were locked away until
the point where your brain felt
that you could deal with it and
this is why you just remembered
DOZ Magazine | February 2020
now. So, yeah, those were two big
things that happened. In terms
of overcoming, it’s an ongoing
journey, I will tell you that but
for the grace of God, I wouldn’t
be having this conversation
with you, I wouldn’t probably
be sane, I might even be dead,
who knows? But for the grace
of God, that’s the only way that
I or anybody else really can
overcome; I can’t take any credit
for it.
Over the years, at
appropriate times, I’ve
had professional
counselling as well. But I
will tell you that the most
effective support has
been having an in-depth,
one-to-one relationship
with Jesus.
What support, if any, was
available to help you get
through these challenging
seasons of your life?
I
t’s been an ongoing journey;
it’s one that I still wake up, and
I still battle with the thoughts
and the emotions every day. I
don’t believe that you get over
grief; you just learn how to cope
better. I have had the privilege of
getting prayers and support, from
Beauty from Ashes Ministries
Hadlow for both issues, I’ve spent
some time with Gee Patchett of
Transformation Powerhouse,
14
Transformation Powerhouse is a
charity that supports people that
have been through sexual abuse,
and she really helped me to cope
with and come to terms with the
things that happened in my past.
Over the years, at appropriate
times, I’ve had professional
counselling as well. But I will
tell you that the most effective
support has been having an in-
depth, one-to-one relationship
with Jesus. Just really spending
time in the word and giving
Him the permission to heal my
broken heart because those two
circumstances - and obviously
they’re the worst things I can
say have happened to me, but
they’re not the only things.
There are so many other
things that have come
out as an effect of that
kind of trauma that I’ve
been able to lay at the
feet of Jesus and He’s
come ever so gently and
you know God is such
a gentleman, He will
never give us more than
we can bear and as much
as it will be so wonderful
to snap our fingers and
make all the pain go away,
it doesn’t work that way. It’s a
progressive restoration, but I’m
in a much better place now than I
ever was.
What is the vision of Empower
A Woman, what is it that you
hope to help women achieve,
and how have you been able to
make a difference so far?
’ll be honest with you, when I
started Empower A Woman, I
had a grand idea of drastically
changing the lives of women,
having an organisation that
would sponsor women, whether
it was to start businesses,
whether it was to go back to
school, anything that would
empower them and make them
better versions of themselves.
But there was always the still
I