Daughter of the King
S
Angela Steele
ome of my
earliest memories
are pleasant.
Some are not
so pleasant. I had an
overall feeling that I
was somehow in the
way or not worthy of
attention. As a young
girl, I felt worthless.
As I grew into
womanhood, I believed
lies about God and
myself. Anxiety weighed
my heart, and uneasiness
edged into my mind. Fear
cast consuming lies, which
attempted to coil me and choke
life. Some lies included: “I’m
not qualified, and I’ve no idea what
I am doing. I sounded stupid. People are
better off if I didn’t help. I can’t think on my own.
I have to make everyone happy. I’d better make
everyone else’s issues the priority, even at my own
detriment. No one cares. I’m abandoned.” These
thoughts continued for most of my life. I believed
lies, bowing to them and accepting them as my
identity. Although this low-grade anxiety still
tries to grip me, I am on the other side of it.
It’s as if, with righteous indignation, I’ve
drawn a line in the sand, and although I can see
from afar the lies that once crossed my boundary,
they cannot touch me, because of Jesus. Recently,
in the last few years, Jesus’ true love flooded my
heart. I know better now. My focus shifted. Rather
than being self-focused, I have become Jesus-
focused. Rather than identifying with lies, I am
identifying with Jesus’ love.
The Bible and the Holy Spirit remind
me that God’s acceptance isn’t based on my
performance. It’s based on what Christ already
promised, provided, and accomplished on the
Cross. Even as I write these words, I shake my
head in awe and wonder at the simplicity of
the Gospel of Good News,
which is the story of the
Cross of Christ and His
Resurrection. My faulty
foundation led me to think
God’s love fluctuated
with my performance. I
viewed God as a rule
keeper, as if He were more
concerned about a list
of rules and regulations,
rather than a relationship.
Fortunately, I realized
my performance didn’t
dictate His pursuit of my
heart. More than anything,
He pursues my heart. He
wants connection, and true
relationship connects. In this
divine relationship, Jesus opened
my eyes to believe His Truth.
“Long before He laid down earth’s foundations, He
had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of
His love, to be made whole and holy by His love.”
Ephesians 1:4 MSG
“Then Christ will make His home in your hearts
as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down
into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you
have the power to understand, as all God’s people
should, how wide, how long, how high, and how
deep His love is.” Ephesians 3:17, 18
Father, what do you say about me? What you
say about me is the truest thing about me. Who
Christ is in me is the truest thing about me. Help
me to see myself the way You see me, through
Your eyes of love and acceptance. Help me to see
others the way You see them, through Your eyes of
love and acceptance. Jesus, I rest in Your love this
day, as I turn my focus toward Your kindness and
goodness. Thank You for Your love. In Jesus Name
I pray, Amen.
DOZ Magazine April 2018
7
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