Love, Courtship and Marriage
Marital Metaphor
T
Jennifer Woodley
wo tall gums grow side by side in common soil. They stand majestically together in our front
yard. Each tree, once just a sapling, is now whole and individual. It has grown according to its
inner design, yet shaped by the other one at its side.
If the extensions of the trees, the roots, and branches, grow too intertwined each tree would
be unrecognisable as two unique individuals. Their own sense of identity would become distorted, the
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DOZ Magazine March 2018
boundary lines unclear. Their own being would become
suffocated by the other, and their giftedness that offers
beauty, contemplation, and refreshment to others would
be choked by its partner. Each tree that was originally
planned to complement the other would now be imploded
by the other.
Alternatively, if the extensions of the gums grow too far
apart, they would abandon their contractual oath to love,
nurture and encourage one another through the changing
seasons of life. Independence and individuality are
welcomed, but not at the expense of mutual dependence
and support. Loneliness, despair, and bitterness creep in
when the call to faithfulness towards the other is forfeited
or forgotten.
As the pair grow older, they understand the wisdom of
extending outwards beyond themselves to be inclusive
of others. They are designed to embrace more than
themselves. They become hospitable hosts to many, and
those they each welcome may be different from the other.
All in all, they are accepting of the differences and offer
enough space and freedom to allow the significant other
to grow outward into who they are made to be.
There is enough intertwining and sharing of each other
that they continue to grow confident in trusting one
another. They add value to the other, never competing for
space or attention. They are whole, complete and strong in
themselves, yet shaped by one another to grace the world
around them.
Reflection
These gums towering together, are a metaphor for
marriage. Consider your own marriage in the light of this
story. In what ways do you add value to your marriage?
How does your partner enhance your relationship? What
if anything hinders the growth of your marriage and how
might this be addressed? Thank God for the people that
you both ‘host’ and the welcoming position that you offer
them.