A
D I V O R C E
4 1 1
Lesson in
Forgiveness
By Karen Becker
A
s a Co-Parent Coach, I work
to help divorced couples see
the facts in the situation. I
help them take the emotion out of
communication so they can focus
on what’s important – their children.
phrases like “I never wanted a failed
marriage” or “I can’t believe I got myself in
this situation” or “If only I could go back and
change my decisions.” First, a failed marriage
does not end in divorce. A failed marriage
is one where the people in it are miserable,
but stay in it because they don’t want a
divorce. How is that a successful marriage?
Yes, there are many successful marriages
out there and through divorce; you’ve given
yourself an opportunity to be in one, if you
choose. Second, know that you’re in this
situation for a reason. Know that divorce is
happening now for a reason and that reason
will present itself when the time comes. In
the meantime, learn all the lessons you can
so you can move on.
I help them learn to communicate in a new
way because divorce is just like dating,
you have to learn how to be in this new
relationship together. If there was one
lesson I wish every divorced person would
learn, it’s that forgiveness is necessary to
move on. Most people cringe when I bring
up the word forgiveness, but before you turn
the page on this article, give me a chance to
tell you what I think forgiveness can do.
Forgive yourself.
I’m not talking about forgiving your ex right
now, I’m talking about forgiving yourself. I
can’t count how many clients have used
When it comes to your ex, this is a harder
pill to swallow, but once you’ve forgiven
him or her, it will make your divorced
8 | Divorce 411 April 2015