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Mercy In The Middle
There has been a great deal of upheaval in my life which has resulted in a lot of hurt and grief . In the middle of this , it ' s been hard to trust God . At times I have clung to Him , and others , I have been very angry with Him for allowing me to get into a situation where I would be so badly damaged and disillusioned . I completely went to pieces one night and God finally got through to me that He was still there , just that I had not been able to reach to Him as I was stuck in my own pain and couldn ' t see or think straight . I felt awful . It is the same as when you accuse someone of something they haven ' t done , then find out you were wrong . What could I do but apologise ? The most amazing thing was how He responded ; " That ' s what I am here for ." No offence was taken . He could handle the assault on His character , and it didn ' t in any way harm our relationship . That ' s pretty special .
I don ' t know too many people who could do that so easily , and with so much love . When I taught Sunday School , we sang songs with the children about God ' s love being so high you can ' t climb over it , so low you can ' t climb under it and so wide you can ' t get around it . They were action songs , and they were a lot of fun . The basic message was , you just can ' t dent God enough for Him to stop loving you . What I have learned in the meantime is that I cannot comprehend just how great God ' s love for me is . I get little glimpses every so often that blow my mind , but the full size , is way beyond me . I know He treats me better than any person has or will and that is as much as I can get my head around for now .
The trouble with really understanding where we stand with God is , He is so different . I know there are lot of Scriptures that teach us about how He thinks and feels about us , but it is not the same as seeing a smile on His face when He sees me , or giving me a hug when I need it . It takes longer for me to learn to trust Him , and believe how special I am because of that . I like some evidence , and due to His patience and great mercy over the years , He has given me some when needed . It never seems to be enough though , when I am walking through the blackest periods of my life . One of the songs which has helped me is written by Amy Grant and talks about a little girl , who is now grown up , who was sexually abused .
The lyrics are :
" Ask me how I know there ' s a God up in the heavens , Where did He go , in the middle of her shame ? Ask me how I know there ' s a God up in the heavens , She says His mercy is bringing her life again , she ' s coming to life again .
He ' s in the middle of her pain , In the middle of her shame He ' s in the middle , Mercy in the middle "
It ' s that one line I cling to ; " Mercy in the middle ." That is what He gives me . No lectures when things go wrong ; no screaming or blaming ; no control and manipulation . Love and mercy – it ’ s so precious to me . It is one hundred percent acceptance , and no one has given me that before . There are many Scriptures that talk of grace , but I have never understood what it means . So many of the words in the Bible I skim over and never go looking for the real meaning , but last weekend I looked up grace , and the meaning touched me .
Grace is so simple . I ' ve heard it called " God ' s riches at Christ ' s expense ", and know all about how it relates to God forgiving our sins etc . Grace is just simply love ; lovingkindness and goodwill . That is how God treats us ; with love and kindness . He wants the best for us , so He gives us the best in how He heals , provides and forgives us . Don ' t we all long so much for love ? It is there if we reach out to Him and receive it . For me , it means that in the middle of my anger , pain and frustration , God pushed aside the wrong things I thought and said , and was just there for me .
We ' re loved so much . He won ' t leave us ; He just doesn ' t want to . He is completely absorbed in our care . I don ' t think I will ever understand God ' s love because my human mind is not built to take in something so wonderful . All I can do is regard Him in awe and express my gratitude . Guaranteed , even with this lesson learnt , at some stage in the future , I will get angry and do the wrong thing again . However , every time something goes wrong and the Lord reaches out to me , I slowly get stronger and more secure in His love . It is a process , and a great journey of discovery . I am so grateful He has never given up on me , no matter what .
Article Source : http :// www . faithwriters . com - CHRISTIAN WRITERS