Discovering YOU Magazine September 2019 Issue | Page 46

BEFORE YOU SAY, "I DO!"

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will inevitably start the cycle all over again with someone else.

How can this scenario be avoided and how do you obtain and maintain a wonderful and fulfilled relationship with your spouse? Well let me give you a few golden nuggets. First, if you know you are all about you, stay single. Maybe you are the kind of person who will find fulfillment being single and that way you can do what you want when you want to do it. I would also suggest you don't date either. Why taint someone's life and make them so miserable that they will be afraid to pursue a life of marriage. In other words, you are not ready for any kind of relationship, so stay alone!!

Another golden nugget-- if you decide you want to marry, learn that it is not about what you want, it's about what's best for both of you (I Corinthians 7: 33, 34). You're a team now and although you are individuals, you are one in the spirit and this is what God recognizes when you made that covenant with each other (Genesis 2:24). The last nugget I want to give you is know what kind of marriage arrangement you want. In other words, if you are a gentleman who wants a woman to stay home and be a homemaker, discuss this before getting married and see if this is the woman you want to marry. Ladies, if you marry someone who is always traveling or on call, then don't whine and fret when he has to leave you for a season. He was doing that when you met him. If you can, go with him and make the best of those times together. Listen to each other while you are dating. Ask each other questions about what you are looking for in the relationship and be honest with one another. If you realize

that he or she is not what you can live with, then be brave enough to go your separate ways.

If you are going to be in a relationship (marriage), then you want to be fulfilled. Fulfillment will never come if you are living with someone you are just tolerating. Take your time and get to know yourself and learn to work on those areas that may hinder you from having a loving and fulfilled relationship. Be complete in yourself, before you attach yourself to someone else. Marriage is not a stale arrangement that you bail out of when you feel like it, but a lifetime fulfilled commitment.

"But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. ... she who is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband" (I Corinthians 7: 33, 34b, KJV)

"Fulfillment will never come if you

are living with someone you are

just tolerating."