Marriage struggles because many husbands and wives really don’ t have a heart of love. Most men and women have a motive( heart) that’ s more about what you can do for me, versus what can I do for you.
Many may not realize it’ s all about love. Many don’ t even realize what their motive is. As well, most don’ t realize what the true meaning of love is. Moreover, their heart( motive) is self-gratifying, self-centered, and wants to get for self.
The truth is that love has no conditions. Love has no expectations. Love has no motive of getting something from one’ s spouse. Love only wants to give into the life of one’ s spouse. A heart( motive) of love has no expectations. However, a heart that is hard or absent of love has conditions.
The ironic part is we want our spouse to love us, to respect us, or treat us well without any conditions. Yet we place conditions on our spouse to behave in the way we want them to treat us. Here’ s proof; we judge others by their behavior, but we judge ourselves by our intentions. We need to flip it. We need to give the benefit of doubt to our spouse and see it from their perspective, instead of trying to get our spouse to see it from our perspective.
Our motive is usually about self-getting versus self-giving and we have the wrong definition or understanding of love. The opposite is what needs to be our motive. Yet our habits are so engrained we don’ t even see it. This is because our motive( heart) has not been changed.
Once we have a new heart, then we have a desire to give the love we were looking to get, without expecting anything in return. Why does it take a tornado, fire, or earthquake for us to get off our selfish couches and go give, expecting nothing in return. Can you imagine if husbands and wives did the same? Oh, what a wonderful world we would have.
A new heart precedes the new mindset. We need to believe who God made us to be and restored us to be in and through Jesus. Then we will make the changes in our behavior( habits). It starts in the heart. Heart, Head, Habits. Then we will have the joy, peace, gratitude, and fulfillment we were created to have and to share.
Husband and wife is the greatest team between two human beings. Husband and wife is God’ s love made manifest. He made two from one and one from two. When they know the love of God and when they know Whose they are, then they will know their purpose in life … to love one another with all their heart. Love never fails.
Whether a couple is navigating early years of marriage or seeking renewed connection after decades together, the Hiz & Herz Greatest Need book meets them where they are. True to the Hiz & Herz mission, the message is simple, practical, and rooted in love. It acknowledges the challenges couples face while pointing them back to values of patience, kindness, and unity in their hearts.
At the core, the Hiz & Herz book is an invitation to open meaningful conversations that bring understanding, forgiveness, and hope that results in changed hearts and deep desire to give into each other’ s life. For couples who believe marriage is worth the investment of giving, this book offers the insight and inspiration to have the marriage you’ ve hoped for.
Brent Taylor
Hiz & Herz, www. hizandherzmarriage. com