PHILLIP KENNEDY JOHNSON : As a dabbler in MMA myself , MMA was the clear choice for me . The world of boxing is a tried and true setting for great stories , but to me , MMA is a much more dynamic , multi-faceted sport with much more potential for surprises and upsets . And since KILL A MAN is a multigenerational story , using the evolution of the young sport of MMA as the backdrop adds a really interesting element . Xavier Mayne represents one of the pioneers of the sport , a contemporary of Pat Miletich and Randy Couture , and we get the contrast with James Bellyi , a fighter of the next generation , a purer breed of mixed martial artist , along with the strut and swagger of a celebrated superstar athlete .
This book is concerned with conceptions of masculinity and how that is perceived to be a contrast to male queer identity . Could you speak a little more about that ? SO : While it ’ s not accurate , as you ’ ve said there ’ s often the idea that being queer is antithetical to masculinity . And there ’ s a lot to consider there just to start – one , there ’ s no one way or correct way to be queer , and two , masculinity is not automatically positive , and femininity is not automatically negative . So much of this fall to the way gender roles for a long time have been enforced by men and held the rudder on ideas of what is strong , what is admirable , what is powerful . But it ’ s all nonsense . Power is power , strength is strength , and it has no standard phenotype . Queerness challenges ideas of masculinity in an everyday social situation , so by bringing it into the hyper-masculine world of MMA , we ask even more incendiary questions . Often , people are still desperate to cling to these latent gender roles – ideas of tops being more masculine than bottoms , for example , persist . But these suppositions must be challenged constantly . Assumptions must be dispelled . In KILL A MAN , our lead himself has much to learn , to reconcile his two worlds , and dispel his own toxic mindset to start . He ’ s been told he CANNOT be himself and MUST act a way to win , but that has never been true . The world of MMA offers us an even more heightened ecosystem in which to challenge our lead ’ s concepts of toxic identity , and force him to find true strength by SHEDDING a lot of the behavior society finds power in , and uncovering true motivation in accepting his own , real , core , identity .
PKJ : I find it really interesting and troubling that , although our character James Bellyi ’ s generation ( present day ) has come a long way since his father ’ s generation with regard to attitudes towards homosexuality , I don ’ t think that progress in the MMA culture has kept pace , at least not towards gay men . As a straight guy , maybe my perception about that is off-base , but as a member of the MMA fan base , it ’ s a perception I have . So when Steve and I became friends and I learned that we shared a love of MMA , and we started kicking around the concept for KILL A MAN I jumped at the chance to explore the idea of a top MMA contender who gets outed , and what a man like that would have to deal with next .
Does the book take any inspiration from your own experiences ? SO : Well , I ’ ve thrown about three punches my whole life , I am far from a badass … but I know fear and anger when it comes to identity . A lot of what James Bellyi , the lead of KILL A MAN goes through inside his head , are the same ingrained falsehoods I had to overcome during my own coming out process being bisexual , and YEARS after that . You see these thoughts all the time , toxic ideas about how straight-acting queer folks are preferable , how topping is somehow less queer than bottoming , these mental trapdoors that SEEM like ways to grasp onto strength in a world that says you ’ re somehow weaker just for who you are , but all they really are pits of self-loathing . Coming from a relatively sheltered part of Central New York , the work didn ’ t stop for me when I came out . It ’ s ongoing even today , as I confront myself and evaluate whether something , I feel about myself and others , the
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