Road to recovery started with understanding pain
PATIENT PERSPECTIVES
“ Anything to be Numb … Anything to Fill Me ”
Road to recovery started with understanding pain
By Stuart Foxman
Natalie Hache said she used opioids to soothe both her physical and psychological anguish .
PHOTO : SPUN CREATIVE
Last year , when her brother had a bulging disc and needed back surgery , Natalie Hache was in the room when the doctor discussed pain relief . She recalls how carefully the doctor presented the option of an opioid . “ He said ‘ I don ’ t like giving this medication , but I know it will help you . I also know you can ’ t take it for long .’ Because of my experience , I had so much respect for that doctor . If someone had said that to me , I might have said , okay , what else can we do ? But nobody did .” Instead , 14 years ago Ms . Hache started her own opioid journey . It ’ s one that eventually led the Thunder Bay resident , now 43 , to addiction , recovery and insight into how to cope with pain . All sorts of pain . In her 20s , Ms . Hache was working two jobs , waitressing and bartending . She was on her feet all the time . Her back started to hurt , then she got hit with sciatica so bad that she couldn ’ t even get out of bed . At 29 , she got a prescription for Percocet . Her doctor didn ’ t talk about the risks . She didn ’ t know anything about the drug . A solution was offered , and Ms . Hache took it . “ I was ignorant . I didn ’ t understand what I was taking , let alone the effect it was having on me . I was just happy I wasn ’ t in pain .”
Over time , the effect of the dosage waned . Ms . Hache started taking more and more to get through her shifts . Seven months later , someone told her that if you crush and snort the drug it will work faster . “ It did ,” she says . “ By then , I had pretty much figured out that I was hooked . But I wasn ’ t willing to accept that it was a problem ,” says Ms . Hache . “ In my twisted thinking , I thought it ’ s okay , it ’ s a prescription , and I ’ m not doing anything illegal . My doctor gave it to me .” She had refills for nine months . When she returned to her doctor , she told him that she was using the Percocet more frequently and running out sooner . She didn ’ t say anything about the crushing and snorting . The doctor cut off her prescription , and wanted to start her on OxyContin . Ms . Hache knew of a woman on OxyContin whose addiction had ruined her life . She refused to go on it . “ I didn ’ t want to be a junkie ,” she says . So she left the doctor ’ s office , and then became one anyway .
Tuned out traumas Long before her back problems , Ms . Hache was no
ISSUE 3 , 2017 DIALOGUE 31