Councellor
Relationship Focus
get uneasy with commercialised like Q: Iday since I know my wife EXPECTSdaysto beValentine’s me “romantic” and I just really don’t know how to – help me please?!
A: Firstly, women - men cannot read your mind, so when
men ask “what do you want me to do for us?” – tell him straight – no hinting, no probing – tell him step-by-step. Secondly, romance is different for men and women. Men think x-rated and women think PG when it comes to romancing each other. That is why it is important to ask and not assume. Thirdly, romance is a choice you make –spending quality time together, doing things together that both like and spoiling each other by doing things for the other party you know they will appreciate and enjoy! Ask God to help you think more creatively on how to treat your partner with a message of love, the focus is to show you care!
“Faith without deeds is dead” (James 2v18) Love is shown through your ACTIONS
How will I know if he is Mr. Right? 1. Start by having a clear picture of the relationship you want and pray for the person that will match that and don’t settle for second best. When there are red flags – listen to them and don’t just ignore them. Be quick to recognise the traits of Mr. Wrong! How he deals with anger, control, criticism and most importantly – his relationship with God! You will know – if you don’t, then maybe he is not your Mr. Right…
Q:
My husband is not huge on communication – is this detrimental to our marriage and what can I do to encourage him to communicate more? communication against the amount of VERBAL communication but there are many more ways of communicating. As we think deeper we realize “oh yes the obvious factor” - physical intimacy, but we forget the very important role of non-verbal communication – using body language and pondering the five languages of love ( time, gifts, deeds, affirmation and touch) –So YES you can communicate love beyond using words!
A: Most of the time we measure our relationship
2.
Stop talking and start doing, help him communicate by your example of showing love: Give him hugs (touch is important to show you care) Make his favourite food or spoil him with coffee in bed Buy him a small gift to show your appreciation Believe in him, even when getting lost leave it to him to get you back on track, don’t take over, show him you trust him. You sitting back quietly speaks louder than any “good advice” you have to offer! Show him you appreciate and respect his work, how he provides for you Let him understand that his presence makes you feel safe Support him and keep him company when he works on a project Write him special notes and remember to always make eye contact LAUGH together at least once a day!
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