Developing Horizons Magazine (2).pdf Spring 2017 DHM A | Page 20

Out of the Darkness
By Janaki
“For the Spirit God gave us does not
make us timid, but gives us power,
love and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy
1:7)
I t was near dark when I was play-
ing in front of my house. A dead
body was being taken along the
road in front on me. I asked my
mom, “What happens to the dead
person?” She said that they would
burn him. I asked a lot of questions.
Why do people die? What happens
after death? The answers I got: If
people do good, they go to heaven;
otherwise, they go to hell or they are
reincarnated as a bird or an animal
or another human being.
These questions kept me awake
at night. I would go to my grand-
mother who told me to chant the
name of the God, Anjaneya, and
my fear would go away. The chant
helped but every night brought the
same fear. I started worshipping
our Hindu gods. I would get up
early and practice amaskarmam and
put kunkum on my forehead as a
token of receiving his blessings.
than the rest, but
my grandmother
said Anjaneya can
fight against any-
thing. In front of
our house was the Lord Siva temple
with even more gods. I wondered
which God would do me more fa-
vor? Who is most powerful among
them? Who would help me with my
education? My father is a farmer.
but I wanted to be educated and get
a good job. I heard the words Jesus,
the Christian God and Allah, the
Muslim God. I heard people saying,
“Jesus is God” to the low cast people
of India. I thought that God means
the creator so he must be God to
everybody, not just a few casts and
countries.
I didn’t understand why people of
different casts and countries would
have different gods. I wanted to try
other gods, not just the Hindu gods.
I wanted to find the one true God.
With an open mind and searching
heart, I went to a church in my
village to learn about the Christian
God. After the service was over, I
went to a woman and asked ques-
tions. She invited me to her home
and told me about God, creation,
Adam and Eve, and sinning against
God. She told me how God himself
came to earth to bear punishment
on behalf of us. At the end, she
prayed for me, and in my heart, I
asked Jesus for forgiveness of my
sins.
I felt different. Fear had gone and
in its place was confidence and
courage, I felt secure in His love. At
thirteen when I stopped worshiping
Hindu idols, I faced ridicule and in-
sults from others in my community.
Once when I was going to church,
my father saw me. He called out to
me but when I saw him, I ran from
the church and went home. When
he came home, he beat me and
forbade me from going to church.
He could stop me from going to
church, but could not stop my trust-
ing Jesus and praying in my heart.
I went back to the woman who told
me about Jesus and we prayed to-
gether. Another believer gave me a
Bible but my father saw it and took
it from me.
Many knew I was pray-
ing to Jesus and going to
that woman’s house for
fellowship. My relatives
asked me what attracted
me to Christianity, that I
couldn’t have in Hindu-
ism? Why did I believe
in Jesus? I tried to tell
them that He shed his
blood and died for me.
In our house was a pooja (prayer)
room. On the mandiram (an altar)
on it were many gods. On the top
was a three-foot idol called Lord
Krishna and I thought Krishna must
be a big god because he was taller
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