Determined Nation Magazine Vol. 4 Iss. 1: The College Survival Guide Volume 4 Sept 2014 | Page 8

don’t identify with a group you think
“them.” That is the absolute simplest
way I can put it.
It took me a long time to look who I
really am in the eye. I’ve had to work
through self-doubt, transphobia,
self-hatred, and simply not knowing
because no one told me there was
another option. Once I accepted it
(about two years later) I started coming out to a few people, which included leaving my right to privacy at the
door: the moment many people hear
“gender-variant,” they jump right
past common courtesy and straight
to prying questions about my sexual
habits and genitalia.
Their curiosity is natural, if harmful.
We have been told every day of our
lives that there is a clearly defined
line in the sand between what makes
us men and women but there is none.
Research intersex, genetic mosaicism, XXY, Swyer syndrome, and realize chromosomes and reproductive
structures are not black and white.

Consider that we still apply gender to
pre-adolescent children and people
with dead or removed glands, and realize even hormones don’t define us.
It’s social. Once you really, honestly
look at the mythical gulf between the
parties - the distance between Mars
and Venus - you’ll find nothing more
substantial than forgotten histories
and a handful of gender markers.
That said, this article is meant as an
introduction to nonbinary existence,
not as a crash course in deconstructing transphobia. If you don’t understand how someone’s identity can
differ from the one they were assigned at birth, I assure you there is a
wide, intricate, diverse, and academic world of communities and articles
that can help you understand. Every
question you have has already been
answered, so just research it. Be patient, be open-minded, and I hope on
the other side you’ll consider yourself
an ally.
I have come a long, long way in my