DM: I can understand that, I guess, but had you gone through with it, then like I said, we wouldn’t be here having this interview and people wouldn’t know that an ounce of life is still life even when it seems that life has all but slipped away [tears]. Did that make sense? Donetha: Yeah, it did. [tears] You know I think about that often. But I’m grateful that God didn’t see it fit to let me have my way or let me make a decision that only He has the authority to make, [chuckled cry] now that did make sense didn’t it? DM: Perfectly. Donetha: Okay, that’s good. DM: Wow. I really didn’t expect to be shedding any tears [chuckles], hence the make-up that’s running down my face. Donetha: Oh girl, it’s okay, behind every tear there is still beauty no matter the cause or how we look when its falling. Here. You can fix that with the wipe of a Kleenex. DM: Thanks. So let me ask you this? How did you make it through all of that? You know I read the book before this interview but I still have to ask. Donetha: Ahhh. The book. Wow. Not many people know that that book is about me. DM: Why not? Donetha: Because when I was in the process of releasing the anger and all of the hurt and pain that came with it, there was still that skepticism and that embarrassment of what it was really like living in that house as opposed to what people saw when we were in the public. Also, because I thought that
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no one would understand my dilemma or that they would think the same thing that I thought. DM: And what was that? Donetha: That I deserved everything that happened because I’m not worthy of a mother’s love. DM: Are you serious? Donetha: Is God good? DM: Oh my God. Wow. That’s heart breaking. Donetha: [chuckled sigh]. DM: So back to my question, how did you make it through all of that? I mean, girl I would have lost my mind. Donetha: Well, um, simply put, I was favored. I don’t want to sound like a “holyroller” because I still have my faults and flaws too, you feel me, so there’s no perfect saint-ship going on here. I mean I smoke cigarettes, I cuss, and I can get a little feisty too from time to time too. I’m shy, but I’m nowhere near timid, but to answer your question, I was favored. God put people in my life that were very strong and positive influences on me. They cared for me even when I didn’t; couldn’t; or wouldn’t care for myself. They went well beyond anything that was typically required of them to show me that there is more to life than what I was going through. They saw things in me that I couldn’t or wouldn’t see in myself. DM: That’s powerful. So let's go back to your poetry for a moment. You also mentioned that sometimes you’d find yourself going to a secluded area just to scream. Tell me a little bit about that.