Denton County Living Well Magazine September/October 2020 | Page 38

Life
After Loss
Finding Your New Groove When
Dealing with Heartbreak or Grief
By KIMBERLY BLAKER
PHOTO BY ANDREA PIACQUADIO
Going through a breakup, divorce, or the death of a spouse isn’t
easy. You’ve lost your lover and your confidant, cheerleader, activity
partner, support system, and best friend. Such a loss can be devastating.
As such, it’s only natural to grieve. In fact, allowing yourself
to grieve is vital to your recovery. You’ll need time (and perhaps even
professional help) to work through your denial, anger, bargaining, depression,
and acceptance—the five stages of grief.
But even as you work through this challenging period, you can
begin building a happy, full life. Working toward moving on doesn’t
mean you’ve forgotten the person you lost or your prior life. It merely
means you recognize your emotional and physical well-being depends
on getting back to a healthy, positive life. Yes, you’ll still experience
some sadness and miss the person and life you’ve lost. Allow yourself
to feel sad as often as you need to. But, also look for at least one, if not
multiple ways to uplift yourself each and every day.
Taking time for personal growth is an excellent way to raise your
spirits. So focus some time and energy on self-discovery, becoming
a more fabulous you, and finding new ways to enjoy life to its fullest.
There’s no need to forget the person and life you lost. To the contrary,
cherish those great memories, but build on them by enjoying
new experiences.
SELF DISCOVERY & THE PATH TO YOUR NEW HAPPY
There are so many avenues to self-discovery. The truth is you might
never even reach your final destination. That’s because self-discovery
is really an ongoing process. As the seasons of your life come and go,
you’ll continually grow and change. The good news is, we live in a big,
beautiful world that’s full of possibilities, endless things to experience,
and always new knowledge to be had. Let some of these ideas be a
springboard to help you find your new groove.
{ JOB OR CAREER } Do you like what you do for a living? Or do
you wish you’d gone a different direction? This might be an excellent
time to consider a job or career change. Explore what kinds
of work would make you happy. Just bear in mind your emotional
state, and take time to think through the pros and cons of your
choices. Then, once you’re in a better frame of mind, you’ll be
ready to put your plan into action.
{ LEARN A NEW SKILL } It doesn’t have to be for career growth
or change, although it could be. Learning a new skill offers lots of
other benefits. In fact, it’s good for your brain. It increases the speed
at which you learn new skills, improves your performance on other
tasks, and expands your knowledge. It also reduces your risk of
dementia. There are other benefits, too. Learning a new skill makes
you more adaptable to change (such as you’re going through now).
It also provides an additional outlet to stave off boredom and makes
you a more interesting person.
The great thing about learning a new skill is the multitude of choices
to fit everyone’s interests. There are also numerous avenues for
learning new skills today. Take an online class. You can also buy or
borrow books to learn on your own, read instructional articles online,
and watch YouTube videos, webinars, and more.
{ VOLUNTEER } This is another way to expand your skills while
also making the world a better place. Volunteering is also beneficial
to your emotional health. According to research, those who
volunteer become happier, enjoy reduced stress and gain self-esteem.
It also increases your social connections. In turn, all these
factors contribute to a healthier, longer life.
36 • SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2020