Denton County Living Well Magazine May/June 2022 | Page 43

How to talk to a family member or friend about no longer driving
Relaying your concerns to an aging friend or family member and letting them know you believe they can no longer drive safely is a difficult conversation to have , but keep these tips in mind when you do :
• Start talking about it early so there are no surprises . The sooner you bring up the topic , the smoother the outcome is likely to be for everyone . Not only does this help keep surprises to a minimum , but it develops more open communication around the topic .
• Choose who needs to initiate the conversation . You can talk with other family members and friends to find out who would be the best person to do the talking . Bear in mind that it should be someone the older driver trusts . Another option is to ask their physician , ophthalmologist or optometrist to address the situation .
• Find a good time to talk and plan ahead . Pick a time that works for both you and the driver so you are comfortable and not rushed . Mark a date on the calendar and stick to it so you do not feel the urge to reschedule or put it off .
• Provide the facts leading to the decision . Present the facts behind the decision and explain why you ’ ve come to it . This could be because of the medications they are on , their health or because of recent incidents causing alarm . Have the supporting materials ready and be familiar with them since they will provide the factual basis for getting an older driver to retire their keys .
• Be encouraging and supportive . Losing the ability to drive often feels like loss of independence . Reassure your friend or family member that this decision is for their safety , but there are also other options for them to get around .
• Offer alternative transportation suggestions , such as rideshare or public transportation . The good news is that there are numerous alternatives available for transportation , several of which can be used to preserve independence . Have your list of suggestions ready to share so you can discuss the options while you are together .
• Suggest a driving test or class for elderly drivers . There are a number of online and in-person safety courses specifically designed for older drivers . This alternative could be offered when safety concern observations are first made . Not only could this help an older individual become a better driver , but it could qualify them for an auto insurance discount .
Options for if you can ’ t drive
• Family members : If family members are located close by , consider asking if they are willing to pitch in and drive the loved one to needed appointments , errands or other events . Caregivers & home care aides : There are services available to hire caregivers and home care aides to assist older people with driving to and from appointments . However , there is a cost to be considered when hiring caregivers .
• Public transportation : Depending on where you live , there may be public transportation available to pick up and drop off older drivers to grocery stores , banks or other places of business .
• Volunteer transportation programs : There are religious and civic clubs that provide transportation options for seniors . Since it is a volunteer organization , it is a relatively low-cost option . Transportation would be limited to the availability of the volunteers .
• Paratransit services : If the county you live in has public transportation services , such as buses and trains , it likely has paratransit services too . These services are typically either free or low cost and take people with disabilities to and from medical appointments , the grocery store or other places within a designated area . To determine if your loved one is eligible , contact the local paratransit authorities to find out what criteria is needed .
• Carpooling : Carpooling services not only offer a low-cost option for getting around town , but it adds a social aspect too . Safety should be a priority , so the best course of action would be for you and the older driver to research carpooling options together and choose a carpool with people you know .
• Taxis & rideshare services : Uber and Lyft are two rideshare options to get seniors to and from their appointments . Since the app must be downloaded to use these services , the senior would need to be comfortable using a smartphone .
• Senior call a ride programs : There are numerous senior call a ride programs , many of which are low-cost alternatives to driving . You may be able to find these programs through your loved one ’ s insurance company or local companies in the area .
• Senior housing transportation : Today ’ s options for senior housing include a wide range of benefits . One benefit offered might be transportation services for residents . Double check with the facility to see if this is an option and what your loved one needs to do to book the service .
As with many aspects of protecting the people we love and care for , deciding to talk to someone about giving up their driving privileges involves several emotions . It is not a black and white issue with a one-size-fits-all solution . By working together to keep ongoing communication about safe driving and highlighting the numerous alternatives available , you can help create solutions that work best for everyone .
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