Denton County Living Well Magazine May/June 2020 | Page 47
HABITS HURTING OUR MENTAL HEALTH
A
Not Allowing
Negative Feelings to Exist
By Laura Walton
bad habit can be an easy
thing to catch and a hard
thing to kick. A bad habit
gone unchecked can have
a negative effect on our
wellbeing. Some of the most challeng-
ing bad habits we can create are the
ones that negatively affect our mental
health. Being able to identify the effects
of the ways we treat our bodies and our
minds are key to kicking a bad habit
and maintaining a healthy mental state.
Here are a few common habits that
can hurt our mental health:
It’s Nothing Personal
As social beings, we tend to give a
lot of weight to the comments and per-
ceptions of others. The things other
people say about us can feel incred-
ibly hurtful, even if we have no real
relationship with that person. Most
people don’t enjoy being disliked or
disrespected by another human being.
However, for our own mental wellbe-
ing, it is important to consider that
most everything that others say and do
is coming from their own history of ex-
perience and is not a direct reflection
of us as an individual. Everything that
others say and do is simply a projec-
tion of their own reality and usually
has nothing to do with you.
Lacking Sleep
According to a study by the CDC, one
in three Americans don’t get the seven
hours of sleep recommended to have
a healthy sleep schedule. No one func-
tions well off little to no sleep and poor
sleep makes it difficult to solve prob-
lems and make decisions. Lack of sleep
can also cause us to become emotion-
ally distressed and irritable, making it
harder to regulate behaviors.
Sleep is important, and sometimes spe-
cial efforts need to be made in order to
optimize sleep. This might mean mak-
ing the room as dark as possible by
turning off all lights (even lights on elec-
tronic devices), wearing a sleep mask,
and leaving the light off if you get up
to use the bathroom. It is also ideal to
keep your phone out of bed and turn
off the TV or other electronics before
you fall asleep. Limiting the amount of
liquids drank in the one to two hours
approaching bedtime, adopting a reg-
ular bedtime and bedtime routine, and
using a sound machine are also tips
that might help to optimize sleep.
When you do have trouble falling or
staying asleep, notice what’s on your
mind. Sleep is often disturbed by either
thoughts of the past, or worries about
the future. See if you can shift your atten-
tion to your breath, counting each inhale
and exhale in order to stay grounded in
the present intention of sleep.
In order to fully experience what it is to
be a human being, we need to be able
to fully experience the whole range of
emotions, not just the emotions we la-
bel as good.
The emotions that we tend to label
as “bad” or “negative” emotions,
such as sadness, anger, jealousy,
or hurt, all exist for a reason. They
are there to tell us something. Our
emotions deserve our attention, and
need to be felt in order to be pro-
cessed. Avoiding the pain only feeds
the pain.
All emotions are valid. There are
plenty of situations in which a “bad”
emotion is a normal response to the
situation, and trying to gloss over
those emotions invalidates our hu-
man experience.
Mindless Escapes
to Avoid the Present
Engaging in mindless activities to
escape the present moment, such
as mindlessly watching TV, scrolling
through our phones, or excessively
drinking or shopping are all ways
we can harm our mental health by
distracting ourselves. It is not that
any of these activities are inherent-
ly bad, but instead that, if we are
not paying attention, these things
can become a crutch that we use to
distract us from whatever emotion or
issue in our life that might be ask-
ing for our attention. The problem
is, is that it’s too easy to use these
things as mindless distraction, which
makes us lose our connection to the
present moment.
Laura Walton is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist in Phoenix, Arizona.
She specializes in working with grief and trauma from a mind-body
perspective. She is the owner of the Phoenix Center for Grief and Trauma.
www.thephoenixcenterforgriefandtrauma.com
DENTON COUNTY Living Well Magazine | MAY/JUNE 2020
45