Denton County Living Well Magazine Fall 2014 | Page 22

Biography

I Earned The
Right To Be Me

N

By Marcia Casar Friedman
ever, ever, would I
trade my friends or
loving family for less
gray hair or a flatter belly or smooth,
unwrinkled hands. As I’ve aged, I’ve
become less critical and much kinder
to myself. I’ve become my own best
friend. No longer do I reprimand myself for eating a slice of cheesecake, or
for not making my bed in the morning,
or for buying that silly porcelain-kissing frog I didn’t need, but that looks
so cute on my dresser. Being the best I
can be is my own daily goal.
I have mourned for many friends
and family who left this world too
soon, before understanding the reality of the freedom that comes with
aging. It’s my business if I choose
to read or write in my journal until
three in the morning and sleep until
noon. I can sing out loud in my off
key voice and dance to those memorable tunes of the ’50s and ’60s. And
sometimes I cry over a lost love when
I hear “our song.”
From time to time I am forgetful. In
reality, some things are just as well
forgotten. And, eventually, I do remember the important things.
Broken hearts give us strength, understanding and compassion. A heart
never broken is untouched and sterile,
and will never know the joy of being
able to be imperfect. Over the years
I’ve known heart breaks many times.
Like others, I’ve felt the pain of losing
a loved one, seeing a child suffering
and crying along with a friend when

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her beloved pet died.
I feel blessed to have lived long
enough to have my hair turn gray, to
see and feel the flyaway flabby upper arms, and to have years of living
etched into creases, pits and grooves
on my face. Maturity helps me to honor
emotions and to feel my feelings, without being overly critical of myself.
Many have never laughed long and
hard enough to wet their pants and
too many have died before their hair
could turn gray. It is a relief to care
less and less about what other people
think about me. Striving to be perfect
does not make for a successful person.
Perfection does not exist. I am unique
in many ways and proud of it. I have
made mistakes and will continue to
slip up on occasion.
I don’t question and second guess
myself as much anymore. Stress
gives me the opportunity to feel my
feelings, express pain when it occurs,
face overwhelming events and people, and it provides a path to a new
start. Aging has enabled me to earn
the right to be wrong.
I like being a silver sage (aka senior). It has set me free. I like the
person I am becoming. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still
here, I will not waste any more time
lamenting about what could have been
or worrying about what will be in the
far distant future. Every night before
going to sleep I express gratitude for
at least one thing from the day. In the
morning, I set goals for the day, then
say, “I accept me as I am today. I am a
work in progress.

Denton County Living Well Magazine • Fall 2014

Marcia Casar Friedman was a teacher for
the Pittsburgh Public Schools, the Los Angeles School District, and a Master Training
Teacher for Cal State Northridge.
Writing, sociology, and psychology have
always been her passions. Marcia conducted
adult training programs in English as a
Second Language, created and led “feelings
workshops,” behavior modification classes
and was a trainer in various industries.
After a new awareness of how her life was
always filled with various writing opportunities, Marcia’s interests naturally flowed into
a new encore career as a published author.
In the past, she wrote articles for a local
newspaper and an educational newsletter,
plus teaching manuals and lesson plans.
She’s also added a compilation of poetry,
short stories, a children’s book, and countless business letters, along with designing
numerous business handbooks, to her body
of work.
Life changes provided the opportunities for
Marcia to follow her passion to use her experiences to create motivational writings. Her
current books, Aging Is a Full Time Job and
Aging Is A Journey of Changes, encourage
the readers to find paths to make peace with
their past so they don’t mess up the present.
Marcia’s calling to write came full circle
when the natural teacher inside of her came
forward, even stronger, to convince her to
teach writing classes. Writing is healing!
Writing is fun!
www.agingisafulltimejob.com

Marcia Casar Friedman