Can I Change?
When you make mistakes at work, you are afraid to meet your boss. But he is your boss anyway and you can't just quit from your work without being responsible to what you have done. And you have no other way but to face it.
So take this into another whole new level. Allah is the "boss" of everything (from Islamic point of view), and you can't run away from him. So what is the point of "running away"? All you can do is to ask repentance, and don't do the mistakes anymore. Remember that you can have your sin be forgiven, unless it is a shirk (anything against monotheism in a serious term) .
So please bear in mind that you deserve Allah's mercy.