" A good example has twice the value of good advice ." - Albert Schweitzer
Ask Greta
Dear Greta ,
Christmas is almost here and I haven ' t got a clue as to how to handle it ! My husband ' s family is not very close and it is very unusual , not to mention uncomfortable , to see them all together in one place . My family , on the other hand is very close and we enjoy seeing one another . The problem is my husband ' s family expects us to always spend Christmas with them , and gets upset if we suggest otherwise . But halfway through the day , he ' s completely unnerved , his family is in the middle of some disagreement , and I want to pull my hair out . I know if we could just celebrate Christmas with my family and then stop by his family ' s afterward for a short visit , we would have a better time . How do I let him know that I am dreading the holidays and don ' t want to spend another entire Christmas day with his family ?
- Unhappy
Dear Unhappy ,
No family " owns " Christmas , and it ' s unreasonable to expect that you shouldn ' t want to spend some time with yours . I suggest a compromise . You can do it one of two ways - tell him you are going to alternate holidays ... one year go to his family ' s , the next year yours . Or better yet , see his family for just a few hours , then insist on spending the rest of the day with yours . This way , it ' s equitable , and you have something to look forward to when the situation gets tense at your in-laws . This arrangement may not be well-received at first , but don ' t budge . Your husband will probably be all too glad to comply with your wishes since he can make you out to be the scapegoat to his family . Happy holiday from now on !
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