Gary’ s Grins By GARY NEWBORE
Happy holidays everyone Two rednecks were looking at Amazon models on their screen. One says to the other,“ Have you seen the beautiful girls in this picture?” The second one replies,“ Yes they are very beautiful and look at the price.” The first one says, with wide eyes,“ Wow, they aren’ t very expensive and, at this price, I’ m buying
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one.” The second one smiles and pats him on the back,“ Good idea and if she’ s as beautiful as she is on screen, I’ ll get one too. A week later, the younger redneck asks his friend,“ Did you ever receive the girl you ordered?” The second redneck replies,“ No, but it shouldn’ t be long now. Her clothes arrived yesterday.”
When a woman wears a leather dress, a man’ s heart beats quicker, his throat goes dry, he goes weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally. Ever wonder why? Because she smells like a new truck.
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’ s house, and, after eating, the wives left the table and
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went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking and one said,“ Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.” The other man said,“ What was the name of it?” The first man thought and finally said,” What’ s the name of the flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that’ s red and has thorns.”“ Do you mean a rose?”“ Yes, that’ s the one.” replied the man. He then turned to the kitchen and yelled,“ Rose, what’ s the name of the restaurant we went to last night?”
A senior citizen said to his 85 year old buddy,“ I hear you’ re getting married.”“ Yep.”“ Do I know her?”“ Nope.”“ Is this woman good
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looking?”“ Not really.”“ Is she a good cook?”“ Nah, she can’ t cook so well.”“ Does she have lots of money?”“ Nope, poor as a church mouse.”“ Why in the world do you want to marry her then?”“ Because she can still drive.”
Three old guys are out walking. The first says“ Windy, isn’ t it?” The second one says,“ No it’ s Thursday.” The third one says,“ So am I. Let’ s go get a beer.”
A man was telling his neighbor,“ I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me $ 4,000, but it’ s state of the art. It’ s perfect.”“ Really?” answered the neighbor. What kind is it?”“ Twelve thirty.”
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