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recently been on the mind of Louise Moore of Newcastle whose son Luke , aged five , found out last month where his mum had stashed all the Christmas gifts . One item in particular caught his eye : an Advent calendar with 24 chocolates in it .
Luke carefully prised all two dozen treats out of the calendar and into his school bag with the intention of sharing them amongst his classmates at school . Mum was unaware of this until a teacher called to say he ’ d been handing the chocolates out – at which point Louise became acutely embarrassed .
The Advent calendar which she ’ d bought for a single female friend was from the Ann Summers range and each of the 24 chocolate gifts was in the shape of an intimate part of the male anatomy .
Words of 2021
Two of the UK ’ s respected academic bodies have announced the words which they have chosen to be indicative of the events of 2021 .
“ Perseverance ,” defined as “ continued effort to do or achieve something , even when this is difficult or takes a long time ,” has been chosen by Cambridge Dictionary and editors have credited Nasa ’ s mission to Mars for popularising it .
Lexicographers at the Oxford English Dictionary chose “ vax ” which is used as a shortened form of a vaccine or vaccination . The word , sometimes spelled “ vaxx ,” was first recorded in 1799 and is derived from the Latin word vaccca meaning cow .
The current favourite word of your Jottings team is Hogo – short for Hassle
Of Going Out – used in the hospitality sector to describe those who don ’ t show up or cancel at the last minute . Trade body UKHospitality which represents hotels , visitor attractions , bars and restaurants , says no-shows at restaurants have reached between 15 and 20 per cent ,
Spare a thought for ...
... residents in the North Lincolnshire village of Sandtoft who awoke one morning in October to find they had apparently been moved into Yorkshire overnight . Road signs welcoming motorists to the wrong county had been erected close to the “ Welcome to Lincolnshire ” sign on the same side of the road . Mind you , even though Sandtoft is in Lincs ., it has Doncaster postcodes – and Doncaster is in Yorkshire . Confused ?
... residents of an apartment building in Mount Isla , Queensland , who had to look twice when a kangaroo was spotted on the roof of their properties last month . Fire crews were called and one brave soul climbed up and slowly walked towards the animal until it moved along to a point where it could jump in the shrubbery and hop away .
Quotes
“ Madrid is debating reopening a facility on the island of Gibraltar ...” – Opening line in a clearly wellresearched article in the UK ’ s Daily Express of November 2 .
“ Stop calling my girls snowflakes .” - Samantha Price , a head teacher in Kent , who says the older generation should take the concerns of ‘ woke ’ pupils seriously .
“ Children are being brainwashed into believing there ’ s only one way of looking at the world .” - Chris McGovern , a retired head teacher and chairman of the Campaign for Real Education
“ He ’ s a volatile guy , he ’ s a nutjob .” – Donald Trump suggesting that actor Alec Baldwin may have deliberately fired the loaded gun which killed cinematographer Halyna Hutchins on the set of Rust in October .
“ We no longer use the term ‘ same-sex couples ’ in our community .” – One of Strictly ’ s professional dancers , Jo Baiao , advising the BBC to use the term ‘ equality dance couples ’ instead , adding , “ You shouldn ’ t have to be asked if you are a male or female .”
“ Bloody borders are just such a pain in the bloody a ***.” - Paul Lincoln , outgoing head of the UK ’ s Border Force in his farewell speech last month .
“ A dog that can do magic is a Labracadabrador .” – Sign spotted in Westwood Hills , somewhere in that strange and wonderful land known as the USA .
Grateful acknowledgement to the following papers from which some of this material is extracted : Daily Mail , Daily Mirror , Daily Express , Independent on Sunday , Mail on Sunday , The Sun , The Sunday Times , The Times and The Telegraph . Seen something funny , bizarre or just plain weird ? Contributions for Jottings are welcome by email to : sarah @ soltalk . com .
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