else on this planet is wired like you , and you ’ re not wired like anyone else , which means no one else on the planet will ever make the exact same choices you would in their shoes .
I really want you to hear me on this , because many times the kerfuffles we have with our friends and family happen because we ’ re evaluating what they ’ re doing , saying , thinking , and being , and then judging all that against ourselves !
We experience the differences between them and us , and unconsciously go straight into deciding that “ one of us is right and one of us is wrong , and I ’ m not going to be wrong .”
The truth is , neither of you is wrong . You ’ re just different ! Completely different Oz ’ s and completely different Yellow Brick Roads . Instead of judging and being frustrated by their different choices , choose to place yourself in the seat of the observer , and simply notice what ’ s happening . As in , “ Oh , they ’ re on a totally different Yellow Brick Road than me . That ’ s interesting .”
It doesn ’ t mean you have to understand , or even relate to , their choices or behaviors !
All it means is that you ’ ll save yourself enormous amounts of stress , tension , and kerfuffle if you simply recognize they ’ re on their own Yellow Brick Road , and it ’ s up to them--not you--which square they ’ re on .
This holiday season , when you ’ re around family and friends and feel yourself getting triggered into kerfuffle , use this two-step process to bring yourself immediate peace :
1 . Take a deep breath in , and remind yourself that everyone--including everyone involved in the kerfuffle- -is different from you . They ’ re on their own Yellow Brick Road , on the way to their own Oz , and it ’ s okay .
2 . Next , remind yourself that you aren ’ t here to judge , evaluate , or compare your Yellow Brick Road to theirs . Their Yellow Brick Road isn ’ t wrong just because it ’ s not yours , and yours isn ’ t wrong just because it ’ s not theirs . Everyone ’ s Yellow Brick Road just is .
When you stop , step back into the seat of the observer , and simply notice what ’ s happening , instead of judging , evaluating , or comparing , kerfuffles stop before they
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