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we will never know if or when I would have began injecting if I hadn ’ t taken the job . I ’ m most definitely not suggesting any culpability . The truth is , I was strong willed and pig-headed , well aware of the facts ( if not the consequences ) when I made my drug taking choices . However , my brief for this article was honesty around working at Exchange Supplies and the impact of their accommodating employment policies – and this is my truth .
Perhaps the most significant employment issue which needs to be considered when knowingly employing addicts and attempting to flexibly cater for their needs is the risk of ‘ enabling ’. Did Exchange Supplies ’ employment policies prolong or even facilitate my addiction and alcoholism ? Among other things , they allowed for flexibility in my punctuality . Time off to score and inject . A more tolerant attitude – although not carte blanche – for me to work whilst intoxicated .
Continuing to employ me during periods of sub-standard work also gave me the finances to use more , and even working with other addicts could have been seen as helping me build up a drug using / scoring
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Should lifelong abstinence be our only yardstick ? Should we instead be looking towards intangibles , such as seeds sown , quality of life , compassion and personal connection ?
network . It ’ s also significant that this was mirrored in my home life – the importance given to holding down a job led to loved ones lending me money to score and looking after drugs for me – simply to ensure I got to work .
BETTER OR WORSE ? There are some massive issues here – I asked Andrew , the managing director at Exchange Supplies , if they ever questioned whether they thought they were enabling me . ‘ It was pretty much a daily question ’, he joked in
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all seriousness . He then proceeded to say he tends to avoid using the word ‘ enable ’, and I know what he means . There ’ s very little that would have stopped me from using barring a drug drought , and although ‘ powerless ’ over my addiction I had enough agency to beg , borrow and steal ( and a few other options in my arsenal – including bottles of cough syrup and dried poppies , both of which would stupefy a non-user , but barely touched the sides for me ).
Poignantly , he proceeded to tell me he ’ d rather pose the question ‘ to what extent and in what ways are we making things better or worse ?’
I ’ d definitely say it was psychologically beneficial to be in work , and I was proud of both my job and my employment status . It added a semblance of structure and order to my life – no mean feat . The wage took the desperation out of my using – I ’ ve already mentioned avoiding gaol and disease . A good analogy I think is one of those extendable dog leads – at times they probably drew it in too short , at others they definitely allowed me to run too free . Andrew continued , ‘ Sometimes there was a fine line to tread between keeping you engaged , and giving you enough time and money to make things worse … we could have “ enabled ” you less , the reason we didn ’ t was that , in my judgement , we could have lost contact with you … and without our enabling ( which came linked to income , structure , support ), things could ’ ve been even worse , and therefore more dangerous .’
These dangers were highlighted by an Observer article earlier this year which stated : ‘ UK drug users are 13 times more likely to die than their European counterparts … the urge to punish drug addicts doesn ’ t make them
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go away . It just entrenches them in their misery , dependent on state provision , unable even to begin to help themselves .’
WHAT IS SUCCESS ? In many ways I was part of an employment experiment – run on good intentions and that definitely made mistakes , during which I happily took the piss . Was it a success ? If the intended result was to get me clean and sober as quickly as possible , it failed miserably . However , if the aim was to improve my quality of life as a using addict , or , the unquantifiable aim of being a bridge to normal living , providing some of the tools and learning which contribute to where I am today , it was an unqualified success .
I didn ’ t achieve sobriety during my period working for Exchange Supplies , but there were some who did . But should lifelong abstinence be our only yardstick ? We know rehabs have a woefully low ‘ success ’ rate when measured by long-term sobriety . Should we instead be looking towards intangibles , such as seeds sown , quality of life , compassion and personal connection ? Aren ’ t these elements of the human condition , so difficult to measure , the real markers of success ? Especially if , like me , a key factor of recovery was the journey of addiction itself .
In retrospect , would I have advised Exchange Supplies to deal with me exactly as they did ? No , and I doubt Andrew would either . I would , however , fully support the overarching policy of their employment model . This is essentially the same as when I was employed , just tweaked – with many of the spanners I threw removed , polished and ready to be used more appropriately . Am I glad I was treated exactly like I was , with some of its beautifully flawed judgement calls ? 100 per cent .
Stuart Lloyd is several years into recovery and has become a writer
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