PSYCHEDELICS
A BRIGHTER OUTLOOK
The thing about psychedelic therapy for addiction is that one doesn’ t really want it. I mean did any of us want to step out of the warm opiate womb?
In 2000, I complained to my GPs that I had severe pain at the bottom of my spine. After several diagnoses, low doses of codeine and a lot of confusion, I stopped asking questions. It was obvious by 2005 that I had osteoarthritis, and my friend Adrian, a GP, suggested I likely had arthritis in my spine joints too. That confused me even more, but by then I’ d begun to accept opiate consumption and worry less about it.
Until I got to Occupy, that is. You may remember that 15 years ago, hundreds set up camp in front of St Paul ' s Cathedral to protest about social and economic justice – that was London ' s Occupy family, and I volunteered in the welfare working group. However people there sometimes noticed me popping pills, and I started to feel uncomfortable as they were‘ anticapitalistas’ and would remind me about the many citizens that were becoming
Ibogaine’ s use in treating drug dependence issues remains controversial. But could it have real potential, asks Andria Efthimiou
addicted to big pharma’ s drugs. I, of course, simply thought they were all‘ addictaphobic’ – like most of humanity.
By 2014, one doctor was willing to prescribe 30mg of morphine daily, which impressed me hugely as a long-time harm reduction activist. However, when I started obsessing about how I might convert it into an injectable form, I froze and decided to ask my GP for another medication. The fentanyl patches she prescribed literally made holes in my upper arms and the codeine phosphate seemed to intensify the constipation, so by 2015 I’ d settled back onto tramadol. Although necessary, I was never sure this was my best move. Navigating opiates, after a raging heroin habit decades before, was never a part of my life’ s plan.
But I remembered that psychedelics were being researched for the relief of mental illness, addiction, end of life care and more. I had known for decades that my friend Nico Adriaans,( killed by AIDS) had come off of heroin using ibogaine. But every which way I looked, I was being told I was just not well enough for iboga. Apparently the steroids I needed for asthma
The ibogaine looked like heroin! I flipped, threw it in a drawer and forgot about it. In any case, nobody was coercing me to give up opioids, apart from me.
were contraindicated, not to mention the fact that in 2008, I’ d been labelled bipolar 2. One psychiatrist literally said,‘ I do not support you 1 per cent to take any psychedelics, especially ibogaine’.
Meanwhile, I began waking up sweating, as well as in acute pain. Familiar? Yep, and denial isn’ t just a river in Egypt – but I was good at it. By 2021, I began to ask underground friends where I might buy some iboga, and after a typically ridiculous‘ illegal’ drug access story I had it – but it looked like heroin! I flipped, threw it in a drawer and forgot about it. In any case, nobody was coercing me to give up opioids, apart from me.
Last December, I finally found the time and courage to dose myself with 670mg of ibogaine- HCL. In the first 40 minutes, I feared I was on the brink of a heart attack as my pulse went through the roof. I prayed through an overwhelming nausea that I would vomit. Less ibogaine in me, I figured, might slow down my heartbeat. Vomit over, pulse returned to normal-ish, I relaxed the rest of the morning away. As planned, a girlfriend arrived at 1pm. I’ d had no opiate for 11 hours by then, and had no interest in taking any either.
We walked together in my neighbourhood. I said,‘ everything looks and feels so clear. Is it?’ She replied,‘ no it’ s a typical dull wet winter day … But I’ m glad everything looks clear and bright for you.’
The gentle psychedelic effect was still carrying me, and I was grateful. And happy for the first time in many years.
Andria Efthimiou is an activist, usersvoice. org
M-Production / iStock
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