Then and now: Photos from back in the day. Liam’ s future took a new turn when he graduated from The Open University. He’ s now a project worker in the sector, specialising in family work. |
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6 Once the staff member has taken your name, they will tell the pharmacist. Don’ t walk around the store or shout to the pharmacist, they will dispense when ready. |
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THE WAIT IS OVER So you have an appointment – not to get on a script, but to be assessed on your appropriateness for treatment. It went something like:
‘ You use heroin daily?’‘ Yes’‘ There is a treatment called methadone.’‘ Ok’‘ Pee in this cup and come back in a week to start, if opiates are detected in your urine.’
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I remember being told you must attend in withdrawal – a minimum of 24 hours without heroin. But the methadone would take a few days to work, so continue to take heroin for a further three days.( Half-life to me was not a medical term, but what people lived who went to a social club weekly.)
I FORESAW A PROBLEM HERE So to be rattling, have an appointment, go to a pharmacy, take the first dose of methadone, then take some heroin – no way did I fancy trying to get sorted after that. My solution? Get sorted before my appointment, take after, problem solved.
Attempt 1 – sorted one hour before appointment, heroin gone 30 minutes before appointment, appointment rearranged.
Attempt 2 – more self-control, drop-off happens ten minutes before appointment, no time to get to clinic, appointment rearranged.
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‘ Like many others I started taking heroin on a weekend, especially after club sessions dropping Doves or Mitzis. The Zammo story had nothing to do with me.’ |
Attempt 3 – plan ahead to get extra the night before, sit up all night doing it, and go next morning while not in withdrawal. At least I didn’ t look under the influence, so I gave it a go.
The appointment involved being asked how much heroin I was using and me reporting a quarter of it, then being told to partially undress to check the skin temperature in different areas of my body,‘ because some people run here to cause themselves to sweat, feigning withdrawal’. As opiates were in my urine I was given a 20ml daily script. There was a choice of two chemists – one supermarket miles away or another in town. Neither was anywhere near my home, so I choose the town centre for accessibility.
SIGN YOUR LIFE AWAY Into the shop and straight to the pharmacy counter. I tell the assistant I have a prescription which I hand over. Without
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making eye contact she reads it, raises an eyebrow and walks away. About 30 seconds later, a male member of staff from the shop floor walks up –‘ wait over there, son,’ pointing at the far end of the counter. I do, and while walking away he says,‘ don’ t wander off, mind’. Not that I was planning on wandering off – after a year trying to get here, I was not moving from this spot.
After five minutes the pharmacist walked to my end of the counter and shouted‘ Liam Knowles!’ – like to the far side of a football crowd rather than somebody a metre away with nobody near him. I nodded and a document was placed in front of me.‘ This is your contract. If you sign it we will dispense your methadone until you breach it. Once you breach it or if you don’ t sign, you will need to find another chemist.’ I had been to chemists previously and never had to sign a contract or witnessed anyone having to. Key elements of the contract were pointed out very strongly:
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1 Upon entering the shop, turn right immediately, head to the furthest aisle.
2 You only walk down that aisle( either this aisle had nothing worth pinching or everything was nailed down).
3 Don’ t stop to look at anything.
4 At the counter wait at this corner.
5 Don’ t try to get the staff’ s attention, we will see you and come when free.
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7 We prioritise‘ customers’ – you will be dealt with when nobody else is waiting. Yours is a separate queue so if customers come in after you, they are not queue-jumping when they get served before you.
8 Come alone – if you are with anyone else you will both be asked to leave. If we believe someone is waiting for you, then you will both be asked to leave.
I believe these items were in the contract but I never read it. I signed anyway because I had no option. I tried to explain that my partner had never used drugs so, would not cause any issue if she was with me – I was told that didn’ t matter and we’ d be removed if she was with me. After signing, I was told to wait while customers were served – clearly, I had taken up too much time. I noticed the male staff member standing at the end of an aisle with a blank gaze on me – this would be the case most days for the next few years.
After ten or 15 minutes feeling like hours, the pharmacist returned with that little bottle of green juice. I drank it, with no consultation room or privacy. This was in the sugared days, so it tasted great. I was asked if I wanted water, but I really wanted to be out of there and reasons to rinse my mouth were not explained. I thought it was just a random act of kindness on a day lacking in such, and I don’ t remember being offered again.
We have made progress, but we still have a way to go.
Look out for more from Liam in future issues
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