We all go through seasons in life, sometimes drawing us in, other
times setting us apart. It’s the setting apart that can be so very
painful and lonely. There are many reasons why we experience
seasons of loneliness. New babies, a move to a new community,
or a new school, are of few of the many things that can make
relationship hard. It’s a difficult thing to see active beautiful
relationships in others and feel set apart and lonely. It’s like
waiting for an invitation to a beautiful wedding and contenting
yourself with peering through the windows.
I’ve experienced some of these seasons of life and the loneliness
that accompanies them; I’m guessing you probably have too but
I hope you aren’t staying there. We need active relationships
with others. If you feel stuck in a season of loneliness, I want to
challenge you to take this opportunity to reach out and give to
someone else. If you need a friend, there’s a good chance you are
not alone. I love elderly people, with their stories and wisdom.
Often, they are some of the loneliest people around and they
absolutely love the chance to just sit and talk. An individual may
be fifty years your senior but you can still connect with and learn
so much from them. If you don’t know any elderly in your area,
check the local nursing homes and hospitals. Try volunteering
at a local pregnancy care center if you enjoy babies or working
with young women. Care centers can often use someone in small
ways, even if it’s just for a short period of time. And then there’s
always the harried young mother you see sitting in the back of
the church. She would love your company and your help!
“A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly.” (Proverbs
18:24, KJV) This is fairly practical advice as most of us are
attracted to friendly people. Who doesn’t love the lady who
extends friendship to everyone? She asks about your week and
is genuinely interested in you. She’s the one who pulls you into
a conversation and then speaks words of life. The women who
build up and reach out are the most attractive ladies.
Building relationships requires vulnerability. Go ahead, unclench
that hand, smile, and reach out to someone you don’t know well.
I promise they won’t bite, the exception being the occasional two
year old. And while you’re reaching out, don’t just guess at who
you think you might hit it off with the best. Some of my dearest
friendships have been built with people who have different
interests and personalities than myself. “As iron sharpens iron,
so one person sharpens another”. (Proverbs 27:17, NIV) Diverse
friendships build character; they make us think outside of
ourselves. Sometimes you may feel like you’re the only one giving
in a relationship. Keep giving - you’re earning both trust and an
eternal reward.
Jesus showed us so well how to give relationship, to show
people they belong. In fact, He didn’t even belong on earth and
He still did it best. I think of Jesus’ disciples and wonder what
Jesus really did gain by having them as His followers. I’d like to
think they were good companions but it seems they were always
questioning Him or missing out because they fell asleep. Jesus
taught His disciples and loved them. He didn’t think about
Himself or what one person’s words would do for him. He gave.
Period. True friendship gives before it takes, loves instead of
reacts, and reaches out instead of stepping back. Looking back
at the times where I was lonely for relationships, I can see where
I failed in practicing these truths. How often when we do pursue
friendship, is it with a selfish motive? Friendship for the sake
of feeling good about ourselves is not friendship at all but selfgratification. Relationships will always have the potential to hurt
us. Do we react or do we treasure