My wife and I had been married for a couple of years when the serious conversation of children arose . We both had serious doubts that we were mature enough to handle children . We came to the conclusion that we would get a dog , and if we could keep it alive for a year , we would have a baby . True story . We said those words , and I recall being serious about that .
A few weeks later , my wife notified me we were going to Birmingham to pick up a piece of antique furniture she had bought . If your spouse wants antique furniture , it ’ s best to just go along with it . I had in passing mentioned that I had always wanted a lab . More to the point , a white lab . We made our way the two hours north to Springville , Alabama , which is hell and gone from Selma . We pulled up to a nice home which sat in the corner of a pasture . Behind it sat a large barn with long rows of kennels beside it . I am still in oblivion at this point . A polite woman with blonde hair approached the truck . I got out and asked where the furniture was . She handed me a small white ball of fur . She said , “ Here is your antique furniture .” It was very sweet . This thing never woke up . We got back in the truck and headed home . She laid on my chest and woke just long enough to climb into my shirt . We rode like that until we reached our driveway .
There is a lady who has worked with my family longer than I ’ ve been alive . She is possibly the nicest human I have ever met . Her name is Annie . When faced with the dilemma for choosing a name , there really wasn ’ t any question . I thought that if she is half as nice as Miss Annie , she would be a great addition to our family . And she was .
Her name quickly became Annie Dog . Early on , she was difficult . From the time we got her home , she bit everyone that she came in contact with . I read three dog books and tried every trick known to man , to no avail . As she got older , those bites started to hurt and became damaging . She was a velociraptor . Then one day , I was at my wits end . I reached down to grab my shoes , and she clamped down on my hand , instantly breaking the skin . I snapped . I may be , at times , classified as mentally unstable . I jumped on the floor beside her and grabbed a huge fold of skin and bent down and bit her back . As hard as I could . I ’ m guessing not a method sanctioned by the American Kennel Club . She squealed and ran to the other end of the house . I was left with fur and blood in my mouth . Perhaps I went a little overboard with it . Later that evening , she emerged from our bedroom and meekly approached me . She walked
over and sat her head on my leg as if to say , “ Yeah , I had that comin ’.” I ’ m not going to say you should bite your dog , but I will say she never bit another human .
Annie Dog settled in and was a fine dog . After one year , we realized we had to have a baby . Ugh . So we did . Bonnie Catherine came into this world early one February morning . We brought her home , and Annie was very curious . And very sweet . She set up camp beside the crib where she stayed for the next two months . Up until this time , we had never heard Annie bark — ever ! We had been home about 20 minutes when there was a knock on the door . Annie Dog released what I can only call her Big Girl bark . I jumped at the sound of what I could only imagine came from Cujo ( you ’ re gonna have to be pretty old to get that joke ). Some of our oldest friends arrived , and Annie stood between the baby and our guests the entire time as if to say , “ This is my baby !”
Annie Dog was the best . She tolerated nonstop pestering from both of our daughters . She made it 12 years until our vet discovered a mass in her abdomen . He said she was probably in some pain and was going to succumb to this . I told the girls it was time for us to say goodbye to Annie . By this time , she had stopped eating and was lying in the kitchen floor most of the day . The girls and I laid in the kitchen floor with Annie Dog and loved on her , and she definitely enjoyed it . I carried her to my truck , and the vet on-call that day was the young new guy in town . I had some reservations , but it was time . I told him the situation and said that I would bring her in . He was great . He said to leave her there and he would take care of it where she was . I hugged her and told her I loved her as she passed . I hope you ’ re crying now because I sure as hell am .
So if you ’ re thinking about having kids , definitely get a dog first . It is so worth it .
MEET MARK WOODSON
Born in Selma , AL in 1973 , Mark is the owner of a local restaurant living alone with a Lab / Catahoula mix named Lucy , a Great Dane named Otis , and 3 cats … Sam , Charlie , and Eddie B . He claims to hunt and fish as his hobby , but he mostly scrolls through reels on his phone and binge drinks in his free time . His favorite pastime is developing disorders his physicians have to Google . He has 2 daughters , Bonnie and Molly , who enjoy volleyball and spending their inheritance early .