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body or anything similar . Take male doms for example - a lot of them will use their genitals to dominate their submissive . So why can ’ t I ? Why can ’ t PIV sex be used as a tool for humiliation ? Why can ’ t it be used a tool to explore your pleasure as a dominant ? Being a dom isn ’ t just about the latex , the canes , the cages , or any of the kit really . So then , what is it about ?
Alice ( she / her ), a SWer of 8 years focusing mainly on pro-domination , phone chat , making content . She also has prior experience in escorting . When I asked her what qualities she looks for in a dominant she said : “ The main things I look for in a dominant is clear communication , good hygiene / cleaning standards and that they know what they ’ re doing . I try to provide these whenever I ’ m asked for a domination session by talking a client through safe words [ and ] asking how much experience they have ...”
Pip ( they / them ), formerly known as Rosa Limonata , has been working in the industry for 8 years ( there seems to be a theme here ). They engage in everything from selling pictures to pro-domination , they told me that nowadays their main work focus is domination and escorting . They told me that [ in a dominant ] they value :
“… an open mind , this goes for other sex workers too . I ’ ve experienced other Doms challenging my authenticity as a Dom because I ’ m also an escort and because I will switch on occasion in my personal life . This is a red flag to me ; I would want a BDSM setting to be judgement free . I think the usual qualities like ; being patient , assertive , empathetic and considerate are key …”.
Lastly , but by no means least , I chatted with Vici Vail ( she / her ), a newer dominatrix on the scene who is currently moving from solely online work to real-time domination . She told me that she values an : “ open minded [ dominant ], understanding and educated about the BDSM scene .” She chooses to mostly not offer nudity in her sessions , in contrary to dommes like myself and Rosa . Vici says that this is all down to preference , as sometimes she will , but only if she wants to .
However you exert and take that control is valid as long as YOU are happy and comfortable ( and everyone is consenting of course ). Again , I will reiterate that I am not telling anyone how to be a dominant , what I am saying is that I believe there is no one single , or ‘ correct ’ way to be dominant where nudity is concerned . So , what about those who choose to not offer nudity in their sessions ? I can absolutely see why you wouldn ’ t . After all , it is arguably ‘ safer ’. If a client / play partner does not come into contact at all with your genitals and mouth , you have significantly reduced your risk of STIs . There is a plethora of reasons why one may not want to offer nudity in their real time pro-domme sessions . Some workers are in long-established monogamous relationships and therefore do not feel comfortable with including things like intimate worship or the use of dildo gags etc in their sessions - this is absolutely valid . Some may not simply because they do not believe their submissive deserves it - this is also perfectly acceptable . Really , any personal reason you have for not offering nudity in
Darkside • Issue 51