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Darkside
This month , Madam Carmen looks at the practicalities of vetting potential partners , play parties and kink spaces ...
Madam ’ s Message : In last month ’ s Breakdown , I discussed the steps to take to properly establish negotiation lists of kinks , fetishes and limitations for self . I also discussed how important this step is in order to safely and ethically navigate within the lifestyle with an idea of what to expect out of a dynamic or scene . Negotiation is what takes place before any scene or play session . Even after establishing personal lists of kinks , fetishes and limits , we now have some tools and protocols to safely establish a dynamic or scene with a potential play partner , but ONLY if they have also established those lists as well . This means checking in with a partner to exchange these lists and make arrangements for playtime . Before we get to the fun stuff , there ’ s a few steps we should review to ensure all play partners ’ boundaries are being properly acknowledged and respected , as well as our own personal lists being acknowledged and respected . There are also a few other steps aside from establishing lists within negotiation with a potential play partner that will help prevent consent violations and respect the autonomy of all partners involved .
Although most often practiced in B . D . S . M scenes , scene negotiation isn ’ t just specific to the lifestyle . It is more common when practicing B . D . S . M scenes due to various lifestyle practices being more extreme in their interactions . Whenever two humans connect and would like to expound further into their acquaintanceship , negotiations help move the process forward with minimal disagreements and detailed expectations from all parties involved . We all should want to know what we ’ re getting ourselves involved in before it actually occurs . This also helps to better prepare the novice kinksters for what is to come . A few protocols to practice are asking questions , expressing
Darkside • Issue 49