Darkside Issue 49 | Page 81

Darkside 81
But more specifically , the gender identity or sex organs of the person topping me are irrelevant to my attraction , desire , and gratification . My masochism is deeply rooted in my sexuality , and for me , there ’ s a tremendous intimacy in sadomasochism , deeper than sexual intercourse , deeper than psychotherapy . And so it feels disrespectful of that experience and dynamic to say that Brutal Master or a sadist is proficient in giving me the experience or pain I desire , as if he were merely a service top and I a bossy bottom .
Smitty : Okay . Got it . You are entirely right . The difficult part about understanding this dynamic is that the words we use come with so many connotations which are often misleading . So many of them were given meaning in times that were less enlightened . I also must agreed with you about that tremendous intimacy . In so many ways , it seems , psychology and psychotherapy do not have the vocabulary required to develop a complete understanding of what takes place in these sorts of sessions .
Smitty : That leads me back to ask about that other term which gets used a lot : subspace . It seems to be different for everyone . Would you care to comment ?
others .
Smitty : It appears that you would recommend him to others who are similarly inclined .
Ruchami : I will absolutely and gratefully return to Brutal Master if he invites me to return , and I wholeheartedly recommend him to others .
Smitty : Thank you . You are a most beautiful soul ! “ Stay dark .”
Ruchami : Wonderful . Blessings of darkness , light to you as well .
Ruchami or “ Dog ” is highly articulate and incredibly intelligent . This writer found that her insights were quite profound . She left me with a greater appreciation of the dynamic shared between a sadist and a masochist , especially the intimacy that can occur . She puts in quite a showing in HELL ! You might wish to watch , but only if you dare .
Ruchami : Hmm , I think subspace is one of those experiences , like orgasms or heroin , where two people can describe it three different ways , all of which you recognize as being that thing , though none are how you experience that thing . Personally , the first thing I notice when I ’ m going into subspace is a flushing and heat throughout my body , then a sense of loss of physical strength and a relinquishment into whatever I ’ m bound to , propped against or laying on , then my hearing diminishes , words and sounds don ’ t really register , it ’ s harder to speak or even think . My mind becomes stillness ; my being becomes nothingness . It ’ s an embodied out of body experience .
Smitty : Being a dominant and experiencing it from the other side , I have come to think of it a very spiritual experience . Did being on camera make a difference ? Knowing that you would soon be viewed by a greater audience ?
Ruchami : Yes , I think being filmed can increase the objectification and degradation I experience – knowing that my suffering is being recorded , produced , distributed and viewed for the amusement by innumerable , unknowable
Stay dark