Darkside
83 or girl , I secretly confided in myself ! The concept of a female killer excited and frightened me in equal measure ; how could it be ? Was I a potential victim ? What if she was beautiful ? Could she really kill ?
In truth , I was already questioning the idea of male dominance thanks to a girl called Kathryn Wilkinson . She was an Amazonian enforcer at my school ; she bullied boys mercilessly . Like is often the case at this age , girls were more developed physically and emotionally
‘ At such a young age I was a sub and a masochist ! The idea of Kathryn inflicting pain on me was both exciting and frightening ’
than boys . She was the tallest in the class and used her physical attributes to rule the roost . She took a shine to me and stalked me every playtime . Her modus operandi was to to hunt me down , capture me and then mercilessly torture me until I submitted . Chinese burns , arm twists and head locks were all part of her armoury but her real tour de force was the school girl pin . Whilst I lay under her withering appraising gaze as she held me fast to the tarmac playground those strange feelings – butterfly feelings – appeared in my groin and my penis , for some reason stiffened . I was a fast runner and could often evade her for a time , but she always found her quarry . In truth , after a time I deliberately slowed down so I could be caught . I loved the torture the pain and the captivity . Again I noticed my school shorts always bulged when she imprisoned me . My chief torturer had a willing lieutenant , Lesley Freeman . Lesley was the messenger , seeking me out in the playground to inform me of her boss ’ s plans for me at lunchtime ,
telling me tales of the coming arm twisting and school girl pins , so I had a whole session to mull over my fate with feelings of dread and excitement . Interestingly , Lesley became my first vanilla experience with a girl . We were often paired together in PE and school productions as we a similar height . I remember once we were villagers in a play , man and wife , and had to hold hands and dance . As for Kathryn being incredibly tall and therefore lacking a male equivalent , she was cast as the queen or witch , roles which she was
Jane W
amply qualified for and fed into my developing fantasy and future fetish for finding powerful dominant women attractive . On another occasion Lesley and I were made to kiss as a consequence of a pass-the-parcel game . The whole school cheered us on . We were both so embarrassed and ashamed but I secretly loved it , whilst of course making all the protestations about not wanting to kiss a girl . In everyone ’ s eyes we were now an item and we both embraced the role of being boyfriend and girlfriend in name only . Secretly I was holding a candle for my proto-dominatrix Kathryn !
So , after break we returned to class for our Bible lesson , the story of Judith . I tried hard to avert Kathryn ’ s gaze as we listened with horror and delight to the story of Judith killing Holofernes . She looked daggers at me , saying with her
big eyes : I had it coming at dinner time . Oh the feeling of joy , delight , excitement and fear as I contemplated my fate and why was my penis so hard that it hurt as it strained to break out from my zipped fly ? At such a young age I was a sub and a masochist ! The idea of Kathryn inflicting pain on me was both exciting and frightening .
Throughout life I have always found such women deliciously attractive . The fun for me is most often found in fantasising about women friends and imagining they have a dark sadistic side rather than their outward vanilla appearance . A side that would love to kidnap and torture and humiliate me or even make me end up like Holofernes !
So this controversial Biblical story ( it ’ s not actually in Protestant versions of the Bible ) made a huge impression on me as an eight year old boy . It has stayed with me all my life and over the years I have researched it . The most interesting
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