Darkside 69 physical relationship with your mentor .
Let ’ s take a real world example : Big Brothers and Big Sisters . These volunteers are mentors for needy children all over the nation . They become friends and confidants for the kids involved and some go on to be close to their little brothers / sisters well into adult hood . They strengthen the child ’ s confidence and provide them an outlet to learn and grow without the stress of parents influence . It ’ s all healthy and beneficial for both parties .
A BDSM mentor should be similar . There are a few things I ’ d like you to look for the next time you seek out a mentor for your life . Keep them in mind the next time you approach someone and you may be able to find the person that can guide you .
1 . Are your potential mentor ’ s beliefs and definitions similar to yours , or are they different ?
You want to find a mentor that has the same definitions of common terms in BDSM . If they feel that a submissive and a slave are the same thing , and you don ’ t then they won ’ t be compatible with you when you bring up topics along that thread of thought . Treat your first few conversations as an interview . Ask them how they came into BDSM , what they think about safewords and relationships and those all important personal terms . If they mesh well with what you think then keep going . This person could be a good mentor for you .
If you are so new that you don ’ t know what those personal definitions mean to you , then take on what is known as an open mentor . This is someone that is available for new people to learn for themselves and helps guide you into your own definitions so that you can find a more targeted mentor later on if you choose to . I consider myself an open mentor and want to help you find yourself before you key into the specifics of your new life as a submissive . I can do focused mentoring , but prefer to make sure your personal beliefs and definitions are solidified first .
2 . Are they open to letting you talk or do they force a lot of questions at you ?
A good mentor is going to allow for silence
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