Darkside 63 hurting anyone , there ’ s no reason to allow yourself to feel guilt over your jealousy . That ’ s just adding insult to injury .
If you feel guilty about feeling jealous , remind yourself that you love your partner , and you ’ ve done nothing wrong . In fact , these feelings are probably arising because you love your partner and honor what you have together as being unique , beautiful , and special . It ’ s okay to feel the way you feel . Sharing can be hard .
Keep in mind , though , that sharing a person ’ s love ( or attention ) is not like sharing a cookie . If you break off half of your cookie to share with someone , you now have only half of your original cookie . But love and attention are not material , quantifiable entities .
If you share your partner with another person , that doesn ’ t mean you only get half of your partner ’ s love , now . All other variables remaining constant , your partner loves you just as much as they did before . Maybe they ’ ve even grown fonder of you for supporting them to explore this side of themselves that longs to experience multiple partners .
Their love for you doesn ’ t automatically diminish because of their involvement with another . Love doesn ’ t get portioned out like money . You don ’ t spend some here , some there , and then it ’ s depleted . Love isn ’ t a finite resource and shouldn ’ t be treated as such . That ’ s why you can afford to spend more of it on yourself !
Take time to get in touch with yourself . Instead of rejecting or resenting your feelings , try to understand why you feel what you feel . What ’ s causing this jealousy ? Is it fear of how things played out in a past relationship ? Is it insecurity in your current relationship ? Is there an identifiable catalyst to your jealousy ? Take time to compassionately and honestly answer these questions . It will give you the insight to understand your jealousy .
Your partner ’ s decision to not be exclusive reflects their needs , not a defect within you . Different people have different needs , and that ’ s okay . Some people are monogamous , some are polyamorous , some pair bond for life , and some love who they are with at the moment . As long as all parties consent , there is nothing wrong with any of these ways of life .
But there ’ s also nothing wrong with you . Your partner ’ s preference of lifestyle says more about them than it says about you . Your partner choosing to engage with multiple people doesn ’ t necessarily mean there is anything wrong with or lacking from your relationship — and it certainly doesn ’ t mean there is anything wrong with or lacking from you .
When it comes to desires within consenting relationships , sometimes people just need to be who they are — and that has nothing to do with you ! When people express themselves through consensual behaviors , we can support them , or we can get out of their way . If they can be brave enough to make an admission of their needs , we can be brave enough to let them strive to attain them — and if you really can ’ t be , if it ’ s just not for you , that ’ s okay , too . Your partner ’ s decisions reflect their needs ; your decisions reflect yours . It ’ s okay for you to be who you are , too . This means you don ’ t have to stay in a relationship you don ’ t feel comfortable or safe in , but it also means you shouldn ’ t feel you have to be everything to one person .
Being everything to one person is a lot of pres-
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