Dallas County Living Well Magazine Winter 2014 | Page 12

I EARNED THE RIGHT TO BE ME
By Marcia Casar Friedman
BIOGRAPHY
Never, ever, would I trade my friends or loving family for less gray
hair or a flatter belly or smooth, unwrinkled hands. As I’ve aged, I’ve
become less critical and much kinder to myself. I’ve become my
own best friend. No longer do I reprimand myself for eating a slice
of cheesecake, or for not making my bed in the morning, or for
buying that silly porcelain-kissing frog I didn’t need, but that looks
so cute on my dresser. Being the best I can be is my own daily goal.
I have mourned for many friends and family who left this world too
soon, before understanding the reality of the freedom that comes
with aging. It’s my business if I choose to read or write in my journal
until three in the morning and sleep until noon. I can sing out loud
in my off key voice and dance to those memorable tunes of the
’50s and ’60s. And sometimes I cry over a lost love when I hear “our
song.”
From time to time I am forgetful. In reality, some things are just
as well forgotten. And, eventually, I do remember the important
things.
Broken hearts give us strength, understanding and compassion. A
heart never broken is untouched and sterile, and will never know
the joy of being able to be imperfect. Over the years I’ve known
heart breaks many times. Like others, I’ve felt the pain of losing a
loved one, seeing a child suffering and crying along with a friend
when her beloved pet died.
I feel blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn gray,
to see and feel the flyaway flabby upper arms, and to have years
of living etched into creases, pits and grooves on my face. Maturity
helps me to honor emotions and to feel my feelings, without being
overly critical of myself.
Many have never laughed long and hard enough to wet their
pants and too many have died before their hair could turn gray. It
is a relief to care less and less about what other people think about
me. Striving to be perfect does not make for a successful person.
Perfection does not exist. I am unique in many ways and proud of
it. I have made mistakes and will continue to slip up on occasion.
I don’t question and second guess myself as much anymore. Stress
gives me the opportunity to feel my feelings, express pain when it
occurs, face overwhelming events and people, and it provides a
path to a new start. Aging has enabled me to earn the right to be
wrong.
I like being a silver sage (aka senior). It has set me free. I like the person I am becoming. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still
here, I will not waste any more time lamenting about what could
have been or worrying about what will be in the far distant future.
Every night before going to sleep I express gratitude for at least one
thing from the day