Dallas County Living Well Magazine November/December 2018 | Page 28

JENNIEJAMESPHOTOGRAPHY.COM
UNDERSTANDING YOUR TEEN
By Georgia Smith-Lyle, LPC-S
Y
our sweet, compliant little
girl is a teenager now and
you need help understand-
ing what happened to your
child! You ask yourself what
happened and how did they change
overnight. Or your cute little boy be-
comes difficult to manage, with his
own opinions and ideas on how life
should be. For all the parents reading,
take a deep breath. Hopefully, this ar-
ticle will shed understanding on what
happened to your precious little dar-
lings.
So much change happens in a teen
from the ages of approximately 11 to
age of adulthood, 18 to 21. The devel-
opment of their brains is still growing,
physically they change because of
hormones, and their emotional/cogni-
tive development is maturing. They be-
26
gin to see the world from not only their
parents’ perspective and upbringing,
but also from their peers’ perspective.
In turn, they are developing individua-
tion and becoming their own person,
with their own unique ideas and opin-
ions. There can be internal and exter-
nal conflict in this stage of your teen’s
life as they learn to be confident, in-
dependent, and their own person. The
conflict internally can be tumultuous
as they struggle to feel included, con-
fident in who they are, and accepted.
Parents who have maintained consis-
tency in childrearing, structure but
encouraged creativity, open communi-
cation, and the message “I believe in
you,” will have teens who go through
these years less combative––internally
and externally. There is as much con-
flict going on in them internally as they
DALLAS COUNTY Living Well Magazine | NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2018
may express externally. The process
of change and growing up is not that
easy. Ask any teen and that’s what
they will say.
Erik Erikson’s theory of Psychosocial
Development during the teen years
is called Identity vs. Role Confusion.
These developmental years are a time
where their sexual identities, belief sys-
tems, moral developments, and confi-
dence begin to take on more expres-
sion. Teenagers want to know they are
important, included, accepted, heard,
and understood. Comparison of their
self to their peers is a major stumbling
block. If they have grown up with
confidence and know their strengths
and weaknesses, they development a
strong sense of “I can” instead of “I
can’t, and I’ll probably not make it.”
The fear of being rejected or failing